Suddenly and Secretly
by Formerly-ForlornShadowlily009
Summary: Yaoi. Future IchigoXRenji. Starts off with a look into Renji's private life and just what and to whom he does when alone. Can a relationship bloom or will Renji be forced to satisfy his needs by himself
1. Chapter 1

Suddenly and Secretly.

Chapter One. Hidden

disclaimer i do not own Bleach but i do own this story.

Warnings; Adult themes, yaoi

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Maybe it had nothing to do with the liquor he had consumed or the food he had swallowed. No excuse could be attached to that path. Maybe it had nothing to do with last night's blurry events or the declarations he had made while intoxicated. No way he could place the blame what he couldn't remember. Maybe it had nothing to do with anything other than himself. A startling thought that he could and would have to place all the blame upon his weary shoulders. Yet despite this knowledge, the facts that nothing he had done or anyone else' action could have prevent what he was now doing, he still found himself in this situation.

Precarious, dangerous, seductive.

The red clock mounted on the wall became his fixation. The moving clock hands causing him to count. It was a way of keeping track of what he was doing. It was a race, a desire to outlast the minutes ticking by. Could he contain himself? He could not force himself to answer the burning question.

How unmoving he had become, a permanent fixture upon his dirty floor. His back arching and aching with each passing second, his fingers forcing to clench and shake away the feeling of cramping. His chest heaving in and out in a frenzy as he whimpered softly to the beat of the ticking time piece.

Warm, slick moisture coated his skin, a bath of perspiration. He was hypnotized, controlled by the images in his head as he grasped his member with strong calloused hands and tried not to scream. He was hidden, locked inside his cramped, second rate quarters while he stroke himself to completion. Self enjoyment never felt so good, never compelled him to even think at stopping at one organism,. At least not when he thought of his one secret, dirty thought.

What would they all think if they found him like this. His body quivering on his floor while he murmured a certain name. What would they think if they found him coming to his mental image of a certain orange, haired warrior. What would they dare to call him, if they discovered him masturbating to the thought of another male.

Such a dangerous situation he was, giving in to his secret desires. Naughty and lecherous he ad become. Straying away from everything just to touch himself. If he was discovered, then what shame would befall someone of his rank and position. What would they think if they discovered Abarai Renji neglecting his duties to jerk off simply because he couldn't contain his urges.

He would have to wait to answer those condemning thought a he was reaching his climax. Now his fingers worked with absolute skill and fire to prolong the future. They slid around the base of his member, stroking everything in their reach as he slammed his hips back forth between the air and the hard wood. He was close, so painfully close, and he burned with this knowledge. He clutched at his balls., squeezing them before venturing upwards to finger his slit. He used his fingers like they where the hands of a lover, grinding up and down his rock hard length, before finally coming with one forceful yelp.

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A short chapter. The next what happens when ichigo stumbles upon a certain red haired death god naked upon his bed? What is renji doing there and why can't ichigo look away


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. A mission and A bed, Reality Sinks In

Disclaimer i own nothing but this story.

Warning adult themes.

Thank you all that have reviewed

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The slithering of scales brings to mind the decadent memories of forgotten lore

I am lored not only into a dream,

but into a labyrinth of words and silk

drape across my skin the vision of knives slicing me at the seams

expose me like a precious shell, my pearl sacred to thou,

bare me for the world to see.

Let me ask the question,

the lingering words that settle on the grooves of my body

like dew from the sky reigning from a deities eyes

let filling the blank pages of the maps,

For that if only for a second i am human,

perfectly flawed,

and acceptable in only your eyes

Condemn if you will,

throw my head back

bath my skin in glittering drops of perspiration

a secret tryst,

show me pleasure, ecstasy

and a simple common touch

Set me free, make my heart race!

the pleasure that hypothesize

the words that kept you alive

these things that truly make me wonder

cause me to dream in a retro-reality that can come to be

let me cry, let me whimper, just let me be.

Renji stood in front of his captain. His breath ragged and laced with trepidation as he tried not to stare into his Taicho's eyes. He was nervous, his insides quivering like a snake. His mind was a clouded frenzy, his thoughts somewhere else. His fists clenched into blaring white balls. His body contorted into the humble shape of a bow. He felt like he was being smothered, suffocated by the mere presence of his Taicho. He had thought that by now he would have become accustomed to the other man's imposing reiatsu and calm demeanor. The way he walked with such force and agility that the room cleared to allow the man to pass. The very way he look stare into Renji's own eyes and set him to questioning every action he had ever committed. The man caused him to become unhinged. How it made him feel like a dog as the steely eyes would slink across his exposed back.

How Renji wanted nothing more than to leap across the tatami, that separated him from his Taicho, and knock that placid mask off of his icy face. But that would be impossible. An act that would further to impose the reputation Renji had come by to his regal captain. A dog that's fangs could not reach the moon. His name was slandered by that insult.

How easy could he have if he was someone else. Someone other than Abarai Renji, the fukutaicho of the sixth squad. Beside him sat his fellow seat mates. Their faces were focused on the floor, eyes avoiding the stormy grey, and their backs just as bent as Kuchiki Byakuya started his report. Once again his captain's voice held him in place, pinned him like an insect under a microscope.

Silky, powerful, a real piece of velvet.

How the man demanded absolute acknowledgment and received it with a yelp and bark by his subordinates. How his Taicho forced every thought to be silenced as he he called role call and received it with a hurried

"Hai!" from each member of his squad. The man demanded obedience and was given it without a struggle, well, that was except for Renji.

How it angered Renji to hear the man speak and long after his Taicho stopped talking his fists were still a strained white. The meeting rolled on just like every single one Renji had attended to date. Exceedingly long and boring, the atmosphere tense, and filled with false politeness. Nothing new was happening, no omni powerful threat, or extraordinary event that threatened to end all of their lives. No overly, insane villain or murderer on the loose with some heinous and long drawn out plan to destroy Soul Society. Then again, what could you expect as it had been 3 months since the defeat of Aizen. Nothing new was expected until Byakuya stood from his position and called out his name.

Strickened, fearing that he had been caught daydreaming, Renji stiffened and delivered a quick reply," Hai! Taicho."

His captain's eyes traveled over him. They locked with his own volatile. red causing Renji to lower eyes to the floor once again. Had it been that obvious that he had not been paying attention? A lump formed in the middle of his throat and he swallowed heavily.

"Hai Kuchiki-san" He replied again and felt his Taicho's eyes turn from his form. Looking up he caught the sight of narrowed grey.

"Despite, Abarai's inattentive behavior. I assure you, there is a very good reason to have attended this run-of-the-mill, mandatory meeting." Renji could have sworn that a smirk laced the edges of his Taichos face as he delivered that well enunciated statement.

"Despite, our Fukutaicho's lack of interest in our preliminary reports I assure you that there is always a reason to be on guard. Even i f it appears that a period of peace has settled over Soul Society." Byakuya's eyes returned to stare through Renji's. They burned like steely fire and Renji knew that he was in trouble. Forget barking at the moon, he wouldn't even get the chance to even squeak.

"As of the last month, there has been a substantial increase in the amount of Hollow's being born. As a result, the amount of reported cases of hollow attacks has doubled. Of course this is to be expected following such an enormous increase. Nether less, this presents a problem to us."

The bastard was truly smirking now, his Taicho's self assureness at having got him not listening seemed to radiate throughout the room. Hell he was sure that the man's growth in ego just now would have been more than reported hollow attacks for last year! How Renji wished he could just return to his quarters and get back to his afternoon delight! But alas he could not, and at the risk of becoming hard he squashed the idea. Instead, he focused on the scroll centered behind Byakuya's head.

"But Taicho! couldn't this just be a result of Aizen's defeat?" Somehow the fourth seat officer of sixth squard asked their Taicho.

'How stupid was that' Renji thought. Its safer just to read the the things in the room than to ask any sort of question. 'Hn, so male shinigamis wearing a female shinigami's robes after eleven o clock was a violation of rules? That's one rule he'd have to pass on to Ikkaku and Yumichika.'

"Most unlikely, the intelligence bureau has thrown out that idea already mainly due to the area of the attacks. Now if this was a largely spread out event, we would not be taking such incentive interest into this case. However seeing as the attacks are congested solely around one area we captain's have been ordered to investigate. Which leads me to the reason why I called for a meeting. However..." There was a pause in Byakuya's speech, a room for a long drawn breath that caused Renji to shiver. He could now clearly see the smirk that danced along his Taicho's lips. Dread never felt more unwelcomed.

"We Taichos have been ordered to investigate. However the idiot that delivered that request was thinking properly. Can you think why Abarai?" Again silence reigned and Renji's mind did a back flip. He was presented to the rest of the room on a sacrificial platter fit for only Byakuya to tear apart. Damn him.

" It is an impossibly task...Taicho...to send the other Taichos to investigate." He gulped, his loud voice booming. He knew something was coming but what?Finally he raised his face from the ground.

"And why is that Abarai?"

"Because in case of attack Soul Society would be greatly hindered because its Taichos had been sent away." He up a sappy smirk and answered his taicho.

"Well down Abarai, you deserve a reward. Don't you think...so? I mean having missed more than half the meeting and still being able to deduct that."

Oh hell. The only more humiliating than this would be to have Bykuya find out what he was doing just hours before.

"Hai... Taicho i don't think...?

"Nonsense, anyway since sending the taichos would be such a hindrance to soul society we have been asked to send a few chosen officers in our place. And since you seem so disconnected from your regular duties i have selected you to fill in my place and travel to the real world."

"Nani!?..." Hell would love him more than this bastard. He had screamed his shock at his Taicho. The man's lips twisted into a rare smile and Renji knew that it was only going to get worse. Why would the regal prick send him? What was he trying to accomplish? Surely there was otherwise to punish him.

To bad for Renji he had spoken to soon.

"Now Abarai despite your ability to pleasure yourself when no one's looking, i think that this job calls best for you. ."

Renji's face dropped, his cheeks turned scarlet and his eye began to twitch. Bloody hell. Beside him the third seat officer began to giggle. He was going to kill him. Just how did Byakuya find out about...about what he had been doing! Was the man a voyeur? Was there a hidden camera in the room. The man's damn smirk seem to be smothering him as he gulped and turned his eyes to face his fellow officer. Half of them were trying to suppress their laughter why the rest were painted crimson. He knew that soon as the meeting let out he'd be the laughing stock of the water cooler gossip.

"Afterall you have had most experience in dealing with the area that the attacks center around. Who else would I send to go play one on one with that representative shinigami." Now Renji truly felt lik fainting.

"you don't mean..." he stampered, thinking of a certain shinigami and turning even redder. Would he truly be that close to... It didn't matter he had Byakuya to kill! Not only did he expose him but was had he figured out his obsession a well? Would he spill that secret to?

"Hai I'm sending you KaraKura Town. Don't disappointment me Abarai or else."

Bloody hell, the man wanted to play games. Misary my name is Renji. 'That's it' he thought.

"Hai Kuchiki-san i won't." He nearly whispered and then just as Byakuya was about to dismiss the room Renji striked, "And hopefully you won't get get to frustrated without me to stare at from the bushes!"

Little did it occur to Renji that this single comment would send his world into a total, full-spin frenzy.

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"God damnit how did I end up here?" Renji grumbled from his perch on the roof of Urahara's shop. "One damn comment and I get to the living world without funds or a place to stay. How was I to know that Byakuya could scare Urahara?"

Somehow he knew that messing with Byakuya would not end well. Though, at least the regal tight ass blushed like the ass on a baboon! The mere thought made him laugh with such force that he forget where he was. His balance was lost and he toppled off the side of the slanted roof with a yelp. Luckily the ground had been softened from an earlier thunderstorm and landed in a rain puddle. His ski shivered from the penetration of the stagnant, cold water.

"Fucking shit!" His curses reigned throughout the night as he pushed his hands forwarded. He pulled himself out of the puddle, mud clinging to his hair and robes. Ringing his hands he brought one up to rub his head. A lump the size of thumb had formed.

"Great, not only do I have no where to go but I'm dirty to. Stupid ..."

'Maybe revenge wasn't worth it' he thought. He sighed, his breath heavy and his clothes dripping onto the dirt making dark circles. He had been in the real world for four days. His mission handed to him had been simple. Monitor the rate of hollow appearance. Try to find the reason and report back to Soul Society. Try not to interfere with the humans and the Shinigami Representative.

Somehow he knew that last one was near impossible. The orange haired shinigami was a magnet for hollows and trouble. If Renji was forced to do his job right the he bound to run into Kurosaki Ichigo.

So far however, there had been any hollows. Not one appearance, not one attack, not one stupid little beep on his second cell phone. After the third of being hollow free he began to question whether this was a whole evil joke thought up by his Taicho. Of course that only caused him to become even more crossed.

"Great" He sighed again, brought out of thoughts by a shiver and a rough sneeze. He cold, he was dirty, and he was tired of eating crappy food and sleeping in trees. Earlier he had tried to sneak some food away from Urahara but had been caught and forced onto the roof by that little, devil Jinta. Now he was covered in grit and what looked like thrown out cabbage. He closed his eyes and brought two fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

What was he going to do. He spent several minutes standing i that exact position before a light bulb went off in his head. He blinked and then smiled evilly. If he was going to be stuck in this damn place sentenced to do a nonexistent job then at least he would have a little fun.

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Ichigo yawned, his back arching as he stretched, and asked to be excused. He waited, counting in his head the number of seconds before his father reacted. Nearly a whole minute past before his father put down his fork and stared at him intently. Another minutes past before the man went screaming to the picture of his late wife that Ichigo was being distant. Growing, Ichigo stared at his fathers antic's, ignoring the looks his sisters where giving him, and picked up his plate.

After a long day of school the only thing he wanted to do was go to bed. Not have to put up his father's drawn out and delayed reactions to the simplest of things. Instead of a nice peaceful afternoon, all he got was a crying Yuzu and even more insane father. Sometimes Ichigo wondered why they hadn't drugged the man with extra strength sleeping pills. He made a mental note to try it out tomorrow night when he got home from training with Sado.

Until then he'd be forced to take a simpler method of subduing his father. Picking up his empty cup he hurled it at his father's head. It connected and the man went down like a bag of sand. Stretching out his arm muscles he stepped over the older man's fallen and proceeded to climb the stairs. He let another yawn as he thought about the week's event. Something strange was going on. For about a month hollows had been appearing like clockwork then suddenly they just stop. In one week he had not slain more than two hollows. Whatever the reason why, he really didn't care. He was enjoying his long needed time off. Needed need any more distractions.

Rounding the corner, he came to his door and walked in. His lights were off allowing darkness to cove every inch of his quarters. He blinked a few times, his eyes dilating to adjust to the darkness. He closed his door and started to walk forward with caution. "

"Hopefully Kon's not trying to kill me by leaving my stuff in the middle of the room again," he grumbled. The last thing he needed was to crack his skull open from tripping over his rearranged furniture. Navigating his way to his closet he began to strip. He started to take off his shirt, closing his eyes in the process, and reaching for the light string. Clicking on the light he finished pulling his shirt off and when he heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Oi, Kon you better not have touch..." His words fell short as he turned towards his bed and grasped. He eyes early pooped out, his breath stopping, and his jaw nearly hitting the floor.

There, bathed in a stream of light from his closet was a fully naked Abarai Renji. A fully naked and laying on his bed Abarai Renji. A fully naked, laying on his bed, and staring at him Abarai Renji. A fully naked, nestled between his sheets, staring at him with a smirk, and half hard Abarai fucking Renji. Ichigo's eyes swirled around in his head, roaming the other man's body to rest at a certain organ. He gulped, his mouth going dry and feet losing their connection with the floor. He slid to the ground, his eyes still staring, his mouth still open, and his mind still void of any coherent thought.

"Yo Ichigo!"

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please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 The Stunning and The Alarming

Warnings Adult Themes! Yaoi, future(oral, anal)

Thank you! my reviewers!! I'm glad that someone is enjoying this story because i love writing it. Please keep reading and reviewing. Thanks!!

(...)' thoughts

"..." words

Previous chapter:

"Oi, Kon you better not have touched..." Ichigo's words fell short as he turned towards his bed and gasped. He eyes early popping out, his breath stopping, and his jaw nearly hitting the floor.

There, bathed in a stream of light from his closet, was a fully naked Abarai Renji. A fully naked and laying on his bed Abarai Renji. A fully naked, laying on his bed, and staring at him Abarai Renji. A fully naked, nestled between his sheets, staring at him with a smirk, and half hard Abarai fucking Renji. Ichigo's eyes swirled around in his head, roaming the other man's body to rest at a certain organ. He gulped, his mouth going dry, and feet losing their connection with the floor. He slid to the ground, his eyes still staring, his mouth still open, and his mind still void of any coherent thought.

"Yo Ichigo!"

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Silenced reigned, consuming the room, and forcing the ticking of Ichigo's clock to seem like a jack hammer. It was maddening, it was bizarre, it was fucking outrageous. Before Ichigo's shocked and flabbergasted body laid a naked man. A man that happened to be Abarai Renji. Stunned beyond belief, Ichigo's eyes darted back and forth witrh a dangerous, head-swimming speed. This lips tried desperately to form words but were unable to mutter a single syllable other than um. His mind was silenced, his cheeking blossoming with a embarrassing red until...

"WHAT THE GOD DAMN HELL!!!" He exploded and allowed his emotions to override his still non functioning brain.

"Yo" That was all the reply that Renji gave at Ichigo's outburst. The other man arched one finely, shaped red brow and smirked. Languishingly he brought one hand up to scratch his tattooed chest.

"Don't just 'Yo' me! Why the hell...are you...In my bed!" His words were stumbled. His tongue skipping over the lucrative word naked. To bad for Ichigo, Renji had no problem saying it or for that matter pulling off the little bit of material that covered him. Shredding the blue cloth, he presented Ichigo with a full view of his half, erect manhood.

"You skipped the naked part" Renji answered coyly. His voice and facade the complete opposite of Ichigo's. He was calm, collective, and enjoying every bit of this scenario.The mere sliding of Ichigo's sheets over his bare form just hours ago kept him in a semi hardened state. He was burning inside, smoldering with temptation as he stared at his object of his desire. If only the other man knew...if only he could have a chance.

"What!...I know...I mean...why the hell are you here Renji! and ...NAKED IN MY DAMN BED !" Ichigo's voice seemed to excalade. His body shaking as he forced himself off of the floor to hell at Renji. Ichigo came closer to his bed, to Renji. Ichigo lowered his head to yell at the tattooed death god. His breath caught in his throat as he inhaled the musky scent of Renji.

"Careful Ichigo you might just cause your family alarm." Renji turned his head towards Ichigo's flustered face and smiled. Renji was enjoying this immensely. Enjoying the way Ichigo shook and the fact that Ichigo's eyes were still raking in the sight of his nude body. ( Keep him interested, keep him noticing) The orange haired man was flustered, his face tinged with red, and his breath heavy as he breathed. Such a tantalizing site for Renji to stare upon.

(God...damnit! why was Renji in his bed? Why was he in KaraKura town, and why was he still staring at him!) These thoughts ran rampant through Ichigo's recovering brain. He was confused at the situation, distraught that he would have to burn his sheets, and alarmed at the thought that Renji looked very good in his bed. (Where the hell did that come from?)

"Would you just get the hell out of my bed and put some clothes on!"

(What a shame it would be though. Again, where the hell did that thought come?) from Ichigo wondered as Renji stared at him with a frown. Finally he adhered to Ichigo's request and rose.

"You could always join me you know." Renji said as he stepped forward and stretched. At Renji's comment Ichigo's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. He brought his fists up to head and buried them in his spiky hair.

"...NO!"

"It was just a joke ya baka. Don't ya know any better? Hn of course not!" Renji seemed to chuckle at him as he went to retrieve his ningen clothes from the bag that he brought from Soul Society. He sat down on the cold wood and began to cover his body with a dark, blue button-up shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

"Oi! you still haven't answered why the hell you are here!" Ichigo closed his eyes and turned to allow the other man to dress. By now he was more than pissed off and angry that he had to fight the smallest urge to turn around. ( Its Renji's own fault, he shouldn't have shown up at my home naked. GOD what if Yuzu or Karin had been the ones to find him.)

"You bastard what if my sisters found you like that?"

"Impossible. I'm not in my gigai." .

"That doesn't matter! Karin can still see you and Yuzu would probably sense you." Ichigo shot back and felt like saying so there but held back. He would not resort to Renji's level of childish antics to win this fight.

"Hn, if that happened they'd probably think that their older brother finally stopped being a loser and got laid." Renji said laughing. His face split into a wide grin and forced his canines to be shown.

"Fuck you Renji!" Ichigo screamed at the now clothed shinigami. (If only you would.) Renji thought as he stretched once more before rising to stare face to face with the other death god.

"Oi, you're still blushing"

"Am not!" Ichigo yelled louder than he was allowed with out alerting his family that he was alone. Amber eyes met hued red and electricity erupted. The match was set.

"What, never seen another man naked before? Am i'm your first? Hehe does that not make ya eyes virgin anymore?" Renji answered back, their eye staring contest kicking into over drive

"What...NO! Shut up before I make you! and answer my damn question! WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Ichigo's patience was past its breaking point. Pretty soon he'd be forced to smack the other man with his desk and the toss Renji out his window.

"Geez, stop getting all emotional ya fairy." Renji said casting his eyes to the ceiling and crossing his arms. "I'm here because I fell in a puddle and needed to change my clothes."

"That still doesn't explain why you are in MY room and I'm not a fairy you perverted nudist. Why didn't you go to Urahara's? " Ichigo growled at Renji. Oh how he wanted to slam the other man around or at least duck tape his mouth shut. That was one form of attack that he was sure would catch Renji off guard. ( They don't have duck tape in Soul Society do they?)

"Because...he won't let me in and yes you are" Renji mumbled. He was still upset that Byakuya's reach could extend all the way to ningenkai.

"Stupid damn royal..." he muttered grinding his teeth at the thought of the man.

"What was that? Why won't he let you? What did you do? The man couldn't turn away a fly. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he has a horde of homeless people and an ark of animals hidden somewhere." Ichigo demanded. This was turning out to be interesting. Just what would cause the good, natured shop keeper to turn away the foul, mouth sword swinger?

"I did nothing! The man just said he had no room so I figured I'd crash in ya bed. Which by the way, has like fifty of those candy bar wrappers under it. Some one's going to fat aren't they? Also do you know any other words that start with W? You sound like a worried parent!" Renji raised one eye brow annoying as he watched the slowly, fading blush return full force to Ichigo's creamy cheeks. ( How cute he looked when stained with crimson.)

"Oi! thats none of your concern and go somewhere else." ( Stupid, annoying bastard...)

'No."

"Yes"

"No"

"YES!" Ichigo screamed throwing his hands in the air and casting his eyes towards his desk. ( So close...)

"I have no were else to go Ichigo." The amount of emotion laced through those words caused ichigo to stop and stare at the red, haired death god. Ichigo eyes skimmed over his body, his disheveled hair, and the look Renji was giving him.(Was there a hint of sadness in his voice?) Ichigo questioned as he sighed and knew he had no choice. Giving in was a bitch.

"...Fine, you can stay here for whatever the damn reason you're here. But I have ground rules!" ( Don't you dare touch my candy bars.)

"Such as?" Renji asked and wondered if Ichigo's rules would be more strict than the sandle hat's.

"First no sleeping naked!" ( I don't need any life changing thoughts popping up.)

"Oh now ya just being cruel. Fine, but lead by example."

"I do not sleep naked!" ( Not without the damn door locked.)

"Heh prude..." Renji muttered. (Damn, why doesn't he?) Renji thought. ( Maybe i can break him of that...NO ya here on business not to bring spiky head over to the gay side.)

"Whatever! Furthermore, stay in this form. Do no change into your gigai, I do not want to deal with making up a story as to why you are, and will be sleeping in my closet."

"OOO the closet, ya an awesome host now"

"Wanna go back out to the puddle? I thought not!" ( At least I can threaten him with something.) Ichigo realized as he immediately got Renji to close his mouth and stare at him with narrowed eyes.

"Is that all?" Renji asked. ( Forget being hot, the other man is annoying and needs to be spanked.)

"For now. Now I'm extremely tired and am going to burn my sheets because of you. Go to the closet." Ichigo raised one hand and shooed Renji away.

"Yes master!" Renji shot back sarcastically and began to head to the closet. He would give Ichigo a break for the night and let him rest.

"At least you know your place."

"Careful Ichigo or I'll put ya over my lap and spank you."Instead of a crimson blush a stark pale corrupted Ichigo's skin. Renji laughed, his voice booming and his heart for once not heavy.

"I'm just going to get new linens..." Ichigo mumbled and fled his room in a whirlwind. With the slamming of the bedroom door Renji was left alone in Ichigo's room. Turning his head from side to side he surveyed the man's room. When he had slipped through Ichigo's window hours earlier he had no chance to study the quarters that the man lived in. They were small, humble and displaying the style that was unique to only Ichigo. Nodding in appreciation, Renji slipped into Ichigo's closet and turned off the light. There in the darkness, he listened to the average noises of a household and lost himself in his thoughts.

( Was coming here just a great idea?)

Even if the other shinigami had no clue as to Renji's feelings, he was content to stare and tease the other male. For it was all that he was allowed to do. Renji was constrained by his employment and by his fears. He doubted if he would ever get the chance...just to tell. Sure Renji was closer to the other man but he was forced to deal with all of emotions. What was the point of being close to Ichigo when Renji could look at Ichigo with love and he wouldn't know the difference between Renji's stares. Hate and anger, love and devotion; it would all be the same in the man's eyes.

Still...he would be living in the object of his sexual desire's room. He would be able to smell his scent, touch his things, and play with his fickle moods.

(Sigh, just when did i begin to fall for him anyway. He's a tormentor, a nightmare, and a God all in one.)

Renji never could figure out just when and how his feelings for Ichigo began. Worser yet, he couldn't decipher just when his feelings for Ichigo changed from malice into a deep, burning lust and then something... deeper. At first he had despised Ichigo, hated with him such a passion. He was so angered at the site of the cocky, sword wielder. He was so flushed in fury at Ichigo's confident words and actions that he wanted to explode in fury and tear him apart. The furthest thing from his mind was wanting to figure out why he reacted with such wrath. All he wanted to focus on was the fraudulent fact that Ichigo was a threat. Ichigo was a creature that brought damage to his world. Ichigo was a beast that tried to take away the one person that Renji could confide in. Ichigo wanted to steal away his peace.

He was annoying, brash, and so similar to himself. Ichigo contained the possibility of understanding and that made Renji quake in fear. The mere thought that someone other than Rukia could put a label upon him, could get under his skin, and see the other truth hidden beneath shook him to his core. He wasn't suppose to feel anything other than hate and carnal desires. He wasn't suppose to care about anyone with such a strange fascination. But...he did and when he discovered that knowledge, he was left stricken with a web of conflicting images.

Renji, the dog of the sixth squad, for once in his life did not care about impressing Kuchiki Rukia or dieing in battle. The once suffocating and tormenting emotions that caused him lash out in self destructing, anger over the girl had simmered. He did not care, felt no empathy if she chased after someone else. He did not bother to feel, if she left him so far behind in the shadows that memories of his past surrounded him. He could not bring himself to conjure up images of their time together, almost kissing, almost hugging, almost stepping past the boundaries of friends.

Instead, all he could think about was the way Ichigo's body curved when he blocked an attack. The way he held his sword with facing an enemy.Strong, determined, yet graceful and poised. Even when Ichigo was down in the dirt, his body twisted, and his face covered in blood Renji could do nothing more than grip his fingers in something akin to fear. He was forced to watch with the expression of worry and puzzlement over his desire for the other man. He force to surround his tongue with insults just to get the chance to talk to the man, to keep the agruement going, to allow the seconds the chance to lengthen into minutes.

He was surprised hen at night his fingers came to life and his mind filled with the sight of Ichigo. He would jerk off mumbling about strawberries and how sweet they must taste. He could come powerful and forcefully than with any of his bedmates. He could truly enjoy pleasure and it was just from a mental image.

Now here he was, lying three feet away from his greatest desire's bed. He was locked inside the man's closet, surrounded by his scent. He breathed in deeply, reveling in the perfect smell. His ears perked up when the clicking of a door echoed through the room and he waited nervously as Ichigo entered. He must have been fresh from the shower. His skin must still be moist and soft, lingering with the scent of shampoo. Renji could imagine how he must looked wrapped in a towel, water sliding over toned abs. If only he could crack open the closet door and feed on such a sight.

But he couldn't, he wouldn't, and instead he just listened.

"Good night Renji, don't wet the bed you dog." A friendly insult, a chance for the seconds to lengthen.

"Ya same goes for you, ya be lucky tomorrow if i don't throw away those candy bars ya little piglet."

"Shut up!!"

"Hn, make me." Renji whispered to the night and curled up inside his blanket.

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 A Lingering Touch and A Dirty Tv

Disclaimer: MY STORY but the characters belong to bleach. blah

Warnings Adult themes, yaoi, oral, solo

THANK YOU MY REVIEWERS! PLEASE KEEP READING AND REVIEWING AND I'LL KEEP WRITING. Next update if i get 3 reviews please.

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He was hot, scorching under a frivolous mind and an explosive touch. He was dying, smoldering with the images and touches that surrounded him. He was suffocating, basking in secret pleasures, and burning. He was dreaming and dying all in one.

Condemn him, his thoughts tormented him. Teasing touches and ghosting lips.

A man straddled him, powerful hands pinning him down. Such a display of dominance, so breath taking, and delirious. Orange haired streaked with sweat quivered above him. The strawberry hair's owner quaking with each sensational ripple that he caused to pass through his body. He was riding him, grinding against his thighs and forcing his hardened member into his body.

A rush of pain, a scream, a moan. So overwhelming

Renji took them all in, as his desire, his dream Ichigo rode him like a stallion. He was coming closer, grasping Ichigo's firm backside, and squeezing it with like it was a piece of fruit. Something to be crushed, to be explored with rough hands, and a violent sense of urgency. He was coming closer, almost there, as Ichigo screamed his name and shuddered. He was coming closer, about to explode when he lost it all. His dream, his partner, his moaning all dissolved into a blackened mess.

CREAK

The image of his eyelids, the annoyance laced at a disasterious sound.

CREAK

Renji was thrust from his dream of sex and flirtatiousness by the groaning of floorboards. He cursed, opening his eyes, and turning upon his side. His body was slick, saturated with his own perspiration. His fingers where clenched tight, his hands made into fists. He breathed heavily and cursed. His member rose to the attention, its head straining against the denim he had slept in. He was aching, straining with need. He was hard, the toughness of stone and steel. He needed to cum. He had been denied this pleasure, denied the chance to merge with his dream lover, to scream his name.

A stolen chance, the lingering of illusion.

He could almost taste him, the sweet flavor of what he imagined Ichigo to be. It was like fleshy honey, raw, and powerful. It was subtle, containing the heavy essence of the strawberry Shinigami. It rolled around in his mouth and caused his head to swim. He was frozen in a stolen dream. He wanted it.

Behind his closed closet door he could hear the murmurs of movement. The soft twitching of thudded foot steps told him what was happening. Ichigo, the real Ichigo, was awake. He would be yawning, stretching his body, and wiping the sleep from his amber eyes. He would be tired, and oh so lick able.

The teasing of sounds from behind closed doors leads to fantasy of the mind.

Renji was captured why his imagination, compelled to act on it. He freed his hands from their closed posture and moaned silently. He licked his lips and reached down. The metal zipper was hard, cold, and snuggled against the blue material. He clutched at it and zipped it down with a paced speed. Silence was what he would become. He grabbed his hips, his hands slipping beneath, and pulled his pants down past his knees. He was breathing rapidly now, his chest heavy in anticipation. Now he was ready and acted with speed. He grasped his member, his fingers curling around its center. A moan escaped his lips, they parted, and he stroked.

It was heaven, it was hell, it was needed friction.

His fingers worked with a certain touch. Only their very tips pressing against his member. The moved in slow circles, switching between sliding and spiraling. His fingers roamed, they squeezed, they swirled around over his slit and the milky precum that dewed at its top. He was so close, so very close. He could feel the pressure building, mounting in his stomach, and uncoiling in his groin.

He was lost, his eyes rolling backwards, his lips closing. He was so thrown, that he did realize that a new sound had entered into his jerking. He was so close, that when he finally came, he had not noticed the opening of his closet door until it was to late.

A spilling of his essence, a thrusting of his head towards the door, a shocked body.

He had turned his eyes just as he came and came face to face with Ichigo. The man was staring at his soiled seed, his mouth open, and his eyes wide. Renji blanched, a nervous sensation clutching at his chest just as.

"MY FUCKING EYES!" Ichigo screamed and slammed the door shut.

"Fuck," Renji mumbled and looked around for something to clean himself with. He found it and pulled it off its hanger to wipe at his heated skin. He was almost done when the closet blared open again.

"NOO! NOT MY DAMN SHIRT! GO TO THE BATHROOM, THE BATHROOM!" Ichigo had returned, his cheeks flaming and his voice booming. He had caught Renji in the act again. He had been so shocked and flustered at having to find Renji. He had heard the creaking from between the closet door, his ears perked, and wondered what the hell was that sound. Then he heard a moan, a whispered name, and he had lunged forward. What if Renji was hurt? This thought blazed through his mind and he felt worry seize him. He had rushed forward and thrown the door open ready to help Renji with whatever ailment ailed him.

To bad for him, Rejni was only indulging in himself. Ichigo's mouth had gone slack, his eyes taking in the site of Renji pumping himself to completion. Ichigo's mouth watered and he was shaken with fear at what he was seeing. He had screamed, thrown the door closed, and prepared to run out of the room when a thought struck him. What would Renji clean himself off with? With a hurried paced he had thrown the door back open just in time to discover his most convented fear. Renji was using his best shirt to clean his cum covered body. He didn't now what happened next, except he had grabbed the tan shinigami. Ichigo's hands clutched at the firm body and hauled him out of the closet. Renji sputtered, letting go of Ichigo's shirt, and tried to pull his pants up.

Ichigo was screaming, his voice shrieking um, why, and up! He pulled Renji out of his room trying desperately to get the thoughts that raced through his mind to slink away. Renji was good looking, Renji was hot, Renji was big. Finally Ichigo came upon his prize and he threw the door open and tossed the other man inside. He immediately slammed the door shut and heaved. His breath was shaky, his lung screaming at his exertion. Why was he assaulted with such thoughts, why couldn't he breathe, and why could he still feel Renji beneath his finger tips.

"USE THE DAMN BATHROOM LIKE THE REST OF US!"

"OH? So this is where ya go to jerk off uh? Renji asked from behind the wooden door. He stared at the pattern of th wood grains, a blush slowly disappearing. He looked down at his hands. They were stained with a fleshy red. Heat that Ichigo had left upon his touched skin. Ichigo had connected with him. Sighing, he kicked off his pants and grabbed the nearest roll of toilet paper. He began to clean up what the shirt could not.

"SHUT UP! YOU...YOU...EXABITIONIST!" Why had he been overcome with the need to care about Renji? Next time he thought the red head was in pain he'd leave him to die!

"That a big word for ya, why don't ya go get a candy bar as a reward?" Renji moved forward and took of his shirt. He tossed it to the floor and undid his hair tie. Long tendrils of red clashed against light brown as his hair cascaded down his back. His scalp tingled, his body shivering.

"SHUT UP YOU..."Ichigo retaliated, his hands shaking and his cursing rumbling through the wooden door. He heard a familiar click and squeak and knew that Renji must be undressed. His eyes closed, his back resting against the wall as his mind filled with hardened images of striped black and intricate designs embedded into flesh.

An exposed body, an unusual desire, killing him softly and forcefully.

Renji listened, taking in the words until they were drowned out by the sounds of the shower. He stuck his hand under the warm spray and winced. He tried to adjust the water temperature, fiddling with the knobs, and cursing that something so human could cause him so much trouble. It was a torture device, designed to either scold you to death or ice you into a popsicles. Finally he mastered the technique of hot and cold and stepped into the stall. On the other side of the door, Ichigo was still screaming and trying to blot out the images of a naked Renji. In the shower Renji was trying to get the feeling of Ichigo off his skin. Too much desire and sensation would kill him.

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He didn't know how he ended up here, staring at the strange box in Ichigo's living room, and eating dango. He didn't know what was going on between Steve and Susan and whether or not Steve was cheating on her with Jill the barman. He could even begin to fathom what propelled Ichigo to watch such a thing as absurd as "The Truth About Cats And Hogs. So far Renji had not seen one hog or a damn cat. Though most importantly he could not figure out how Ichigo managed to look him in the eyes, let alone not kick him out on the street. Maybe his show of flesh and fingers had scarred the other man into a brain freeze? Or just maybe he had caused some other adverse reaction to surface. Why else was his dream lover staring at his chest and blushing?

It had been three hours since Renji had taken his shower. Three hours since he stepped out of the bathroom in a too small towel. The purple fluffy terrycloth had been wrapped around his waist with plenty of eye candy to behold. Why the hell was there wash cloths and shower cloths? Ichigo had seen him, his face twisting into a contorted frown until he threw his hands up and stalked downstairs. Renji had been left there standing, his fingers scratching at his wet scalp with puzzlement, and his ass exposed..

Time had speed forward, a blur of repetitive actions had taken place until 10 minutes later Ichigo had returned to slump against the wall. His mouth moved noisily, a fish lips taking over Ichigo' own bite able until he curse at him. The words where go gritty and triple x that Renji's ears had never before encountered. It had been amusing and really annoying. Some how the other man registered the same emotions and rushed over to his bed. With a the turning down of his lips he flipped his mattress up and seized a delicate indulgence. With a mouth full of dissolving chocolate he sent garbled words at Renji. Renji was left strickened, his mouth watering, his jeans tightening. A single smear of chocolate marred Ichigo face and Renji was forced to look the other way.

Human strawberry and coco what a sinful concoction.

Now they sat beside each other, Ichigo's face clean of chocolate, and his eyes not focused on the tv. Instead they were fluttering over Renji's body and causing his mind to strangle itself. He was torn, conflicted over what he was, and what he tried to suppress.

"So just where is your family? Did you kill them because you felt bad for telling me to stay up stairs like secret sex slave?" Renji careful quipped, his eyes focused on the scene in front of him. It was hot, smoldering, ad he knew that it could never happen outside the black box.

"Like you could ever be used as a sex slave. From what I understand, you can't last more than five minutes." Ichigo answered back calmly, his eyes locked upon the fabricated kisses and stokes.

"Heh, desperate needs take only minutes to complete."

"Is that so?" His face was burning, his lips drying. He wanted to lick them, to moan, but he couldn't. He wouldn't venture down that path. It was to life changing, to adventuring.

"Yes, now fulfilling and mind tormenting, that takes hours."

"You shouldn't try to be cleaver it doesn't work, you come up short. Besides don't get use to being out here, my family is only gone for a week."

"And there should be a law against the inhuman treatment that ya force your house guests to endure." Renji whispered as he could take no more. The tv was a set for wet dreams as the show finally got explosive. Steve had strayed, coming to the barman's house and attacking him. The struggled, rolling around in each others mouths as they explored each other. It was pure man on man action and Renji was watching it with Ichigo. He could hear his shortness of breath, feel the vibrations of his twitching body, and see the blush that seemed to always be on Ichigo's face. Renji himself was hot, his body aching, as clothes were shredded. The foreplay was precise. It was to good, to heated, to radiating. They could sense the fire that was emitting from the screen and they stared on with secreted looks at each other as the two tv stars finally started rutting.

Moans echoed, lips were licked, nipples were gripped between pearly white, as breaths were dangerously close to stopping. Completion was imminent, eyes watering, and names were being screamed and when the last shout finally echoed through the room minds were immersed in fantasy.

Ichigo reached slowly, grasped the controller, and clicked onto the next channel.

Renji breathed, his lung screaming and he slowly stuttered. "Ya don't see that in Soul Society."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5. Reality, Insanity, And A Computer.

Disclaimer: i own this story but not bleach

Warnings"A LEMON SCENE and adult content like yaoi and sex

ThANK YOU MY REVIEWERS! I shall keep writing as along as you keep reading. if not, well this story will continue. This should a nice lengthy chapter with a little taste of naughtiness.

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Renji's forehead glistened with sweat. The tiny drops of moisture blistering into pockets of uncomfortable as he perspired. His skin was bronzed by fresh kisses from the sun, leaving him marked by its scorching fingers. His eyes were closed with weary, his lids weighed down with exhaustion. His back was arched, his hands hanging loosely by his side, as he sat on top of a city building. He was tired, his body tingling with overuse. The sky was lazy, skewed with wispy clouds, and sluggishly twisting its cold blue color into burning amber. The sun was setting and his day had been wasted staring at the passage of cars. Some much time lost to the knowldge of reports and second information.

This was where it was all suppose to happen. This was where the attacks were suppose to commence and where the hollows ventured out from their crevices to play. However, the only thing that had appeared before Renji were countless humans and the flapping of wings.

Renji was dizzy with sarcastic happiness at the progress he had accomplished. Three days had passed since he moved into Ichigo's closet, seven days total that he had been in ningenkai, and not one major hollow attack had occurred. He had been sequestered away in suburbia awaiting the alarming beep of his cell phone. By the second day he had been driven out of Ichigo's comfy house to slay a hollow but was left the sticky residue of disappoint. The hollow's energy level had been that of minuscule. The hollow had been a freshly born fledgling, incapable of the heinous acts that Renji's reports' boasted.

Where was the numerous and omni powerful hollows? Where was the bloodshed and missing humans? Where was the job that he had been ordered to fulfill? Renji threw the questions to the passing birds and spent the third day of his shacking up with Ichigo pondering.

Had he been given wrongful information? No, he was wasting time and money just being out of soul society. Had the bureau of information and technology been wrong? Hardly practical, that creepy captain would never make such a mistake. Had Renji been lied to?

Byakuya was an evil bastard.

This question struck a chord and Renji dwelled upon the possibilities of this being a scheme created by Byakuya. Why call a meeting and have fake reports? Why do any of this if Byakuya's soul purpose was making Renji's life miserable? The man had already accomplished that feat with his slipping of his tongue. Byakuya's voicing of his personal exploits had caused Renji to be harassed not only by his squad but by all of soul society. Byakuya was a coward, hiding behind smirks and tricky usages.

Renji flushed red with anger at the thought of Byakuya tricking him. His blood boiled and scenarios of Byakuya's trickery flowed to him.

With a loathful groan and a heavy sigh, Renji shook away the image of his steely captain. Though, whether this case was false or genuine, Renji was still stuck in ningenkai. Still stuck and graced with the opportunity of sleeping three feet away from Ichigo. A shiver erupted through Renji's body and he mewed in appreciation at the memories that name brought forth. Gone was the picture of perfectly groomed composure. Its replacement was rawness, subtle smiles, and brutish behavior. Ichigo, the real Ichigo, was more than Renji could ever hope to imagine. The last three days had filled him with enough lust and seedy desires that Renji was stricken with need. With a quivering voice and a hidden body Renji was forced to jerk off a record twelve times. Each time more fulfilling than the last stroke. Luckily, Ichigo had not broken his record of walking in on him. Otherwise, Renji doubted if would be able to control his urge to grab the shinigami and fuck him into the floorboards of the closet.

Renji growled and opened his eyes, forcefully ending his recount of what he would do to Ichigo. The sun had set, leaving in its trail a dusting of stars. Night was coming into bloom and Renji was weary from doing nothing all day. He need to move, to return to Ichigo's house. With a gentle push, he leaped from the building and began his return back to Ichigo.

Ichigo, was a strange person. The boy was obessed with chocolate and other such treats. For the last three days Ichigo would do the same routine. He would wake from his slumber, rub the sleep from his eyes, and strip for his bath. Then, after selecting his outfit for the day, Ichigo would trudge down the steps and clean up his house. Breakfast eluded him and therefore Renji was well. When all the chores had been finished Ichigo would do something that truly made Renji' mouth water. Ichigo would train.

For hours the strawberry shinigami would toil under the sun, sweat slipping down his front, over his muscles, and down his back into forbidden crevices. Renji would watch from the sidelines until he could take no more. He had surprised Ichigo three days ago by nearly jumping him. Renji had been so thralled by seeing Ichigo flex and twist that he attacked the other man. A fist, a kick, a dive, and that was all it took before they were sparing. With the images of the sex scene from that strange box Renji was fueled with energy. He replayed it all in his mind and with that burning need, Renji channeled it all into beating Ichigo.

Any excuse just to touch Ichigo. That was how there short time together was spent. After the fights they both collapsed exhausted, their breath's merging into one heavy pant as they stared at each other. Seconds flowed, insult were playfully thrown, and an otherwise telltale blush would blend in perfectly with their over heated bodies. Neither of them knowing that the other was red from something other than their activities. Then after they would finally look away, they would fall into silence, Ichigo leading them into his house. They would bathe and Renji would fantasy. Afterwards, with the silence still reigning, they would settle upon Ichigo's couch and watch came out of the television set.

That was what Renji was expecting when he entered through Ichigo's window. He expected to bathe, climb onto the couch, and watch the new episode of Fragile with his one secret desire. But destiny had other plans. Funny how things never work out, especially for Abarai Renji.

Renji entered through the window, his feet hitting the soft carpet, and his head ducking under the sill. Smiling at the cold air that brushed over him he called out for Ichigo. No answer met his and Renji shrugged. He placed Zabimaru on the bed and started to towards the door intent on bathing. He grasped the handle prepared to turn it when a flicker of movement caught his attention. Renji cocked his head to the side and stared at the other strange box that Ichigo possessed.

This box was different from the one in the living room. This box's screen was thin, its color blue not black, and its resting box was stamped with the shape of pear(1) This strange, little rectangle came with a thing Ichigo called a "mouse" and another square with up raised cubes. Renji had noticed the box the first day he came to stay with the other man, but its screen had been black, dark, and turned "off". Upon asking Ichigo the Renji had been forewarned never to touch it. Ichigo's threat had been severe, telling Renji that Ichigo would send him back to Urahara with the products Renji had "borrowed" from the saddle hat's shop. However, this time the screen was not vacant of black. It was now illuminated and the picture on its surface caused Renji to nearly gasp. Renji stepped away from the door and ventured forth to explore just what Ichigo had been doing while he was away.

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Ichigo's POV

Maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe it wasn't stress or lack of something important. Maybe it wasn't so horrible to want it. Maybe the way he felt had nothing to do with trauma or some horrible physiological wound. Maybe...just maybe he wasn't sick. Just so possibly... maybe it wasn't anything of these things had caused him to stare and question everything before him.

What he wanted and what he should be expected to want were so incompatible that he felt like cringing. Inside he was squirming with unsorted images and shocking actions that he had committed.

His mind was a screaming cauldron of repetitveness. His voice was echoing, bouncing around inside his skull. He was becoming twisted, his emotions blaring forth in scribbles and jagged lines. How many times had he asked himself the same tormenting question? How many seconds had passed before he caught himself staring at things that had always been forbidden? How much longer he could hide?

Contemplative, annoying, and dicisive.

He wanted an answer to these vexing questions. He demanded a reason for his actions, for his erratic behavior.

For his own betrayal.

His body was held captive, his mind the tormentor, the calumniator. His heart was a quaking mass of unease, his symptoms startling. He was burning, his fingers tingling, and his breath turning into strained wisps of exertion. His thoughts were not his own. They were foreign and blasphemous. They were humiliating, threaded with longing, and dipped in heat.

He wanted, he craved, he desired...and he couldn't handle it.

He was screaming, thrusting his hands against slabs of stone and cursing. Why must he feel such things? Why must he be the one to constantly be different? Human or shinigami, dead or alive, gay or straight? He had no answer for these labels, no knowledge of how to attach them to his body. He was a death god, yet a living being. He appreciated plump breasts but was captivated with a drooling yearning at chiseled abs. He wanted one more than the other, he wanted to suck, bite, and dive into a fantasy of the same gender. It was a desperate situation, a mind consuming stand still.

Why did "he" have to come. Why did that man have to slump into his, Kurosaki Ichigo, life and cause him to quake with uncertainty. Ichigo had been strong, handling his feelings, and subduing them. Days would pass and he would not be subjected to starring. He could almost muster enough strength not to glaze at Ishida when they bathed after recess. He could almost pat Chad on the back or spar with him without looking at his firm behind. He was almost sane, almost able to comprehend. That was...until "he" showed up in his bed naked. The man was wild, Abarai Renji was destructive, volatile, and everything Ichigo longed to touch.

Renji had been his one fantasy, his one sexual dream that still haunted him long after the others had faded. Renji was what he wanted, and it made Ichigo's life horrible to live. After their fight with Aizen, Ichigo assumed Renji would return to Soul Society, to chase after Rukia, or who ever else caught his fancy. What Ichigo had assumed had been wrong. Ichigo had never foreseen that Urahara would throw the red head out into the street or that he would be forced to house Renji in his closet. Ichigo never expected that Renji would be so carefree with his body, his nudeness, or his heated stares.

But...then again what could he expect when dealing with Abarai Renji?

Renji broke all of Ichigo's restraints. Renji caused Ichigo to shudder with hidden pleasure when he saw Renji's naked form. Worse still, Ichigo never knew how he managed not to groan or mewl or release some other type of lusty growl when he caught Renji masturbating in his closet. That was the straw that near broke his proverbial back. Forlornly it almost.

Yet Ichigo had more than enough control to not act on his confusing emotions. Whether or not he liked the appearance of Renji was not in question. It was whether or not Ichigo could admit to himself and the rest of the world that he like the appearance of most of the male population.

It was a shock, a long drown out illusion that Ichigo thought he had yet to awake from. Ichigo had heard the muffled whimpering leaking out from his closet door. He had been woried, afraid that Renji was in pain only to discover something more sinister. Renji's hands around his own shaft and his pants bunched around his own ankles. This was the second time Ichigo had seen Renji naked and he had yet to tire from it. Thankfully fear settle in at his discovery, causing Ichigo to scream and curse at the unabashed warrior.

Ichigo could block the images from his mind and elude their flirtatious calling to remember them, by watching Tv. Ichigo had been able to dislodge his glaze from Renji's when watching Tv. Though unfortunately Renji had found the sex scene on TV so stimulating, that he conversed about it long into the night. The man's lips were murder.

For three days Renji had been staying with Ichigo. Three days and it was already beginning to crack his resolve. Ichigo found himself waiting for Renji to leave to do something he had not done in months. It started out as harmless curiosity, as research into his own pulsating dilemma. It ended with a click of the mouse and the dropping of his jaw. It had grown from a heated blush and straining erection he had acquired from Ishida. For hours Ishida had labored under a hot sun in their shared class Agricultural Studies of the World. Ichigo's mouth had started to water and things other than tending to plants entered his mind.

Ichigo had ventured away from harmless staring and into hazardous ogling of man on man porn. The internet was a tool to fuel his quest for understanding, and a device that caused him moan behind closed doors. The first time he had masturbated to the grainy film of homosexual porn he had been horrified. Still, silent pictures and then writhing bodies coupled with screaming audio plagued his mind. His eyes were assaulted with couplings of moral indecency. Ichigo would grasp his shaft, precum dripping from his slit, and shout mumbled words long into the night.

For three months, Ichigo had snuck away to stare at the saved porn sites he had hidden on his computer. Xero Gravity, Three Men And A Kitten, Seamen, and Taking A Bath With Bubbles(The Guy Next Door) where among his favorite selections from the various visual entertainment that the site Xclusive offered.

Ichigo had an account, false names, and even a profile featuring what he would do if he ever starred in an adult film. To the world of gay porn, he was known as the ThornedStrawberry, XxXSwordSlasherXxX, or worst yet VelvetThunder57. Next to Xclusive Ichigo visited three other free adult sites; Loves To Touch, StrangerThanWhips, and finally Illusions. For three months, Ichigo explored the internet porn world until Yuzu nearly caused him to have a stroke.

Ichigo had been careless, leaving his history uncleared and bookmarking Xclusive. Yuzu had entered his room while he was doing chores. She had wanted to find information for a report on Thailand, and had nearly discovered that her brother liked to watch men being tied to bedposts. Luckily for him, Ichigo entered the room just in time to snatch the mouse out of her hands. Ichigo had freaked, screaming inaudible words and throwing the mouse out of the window. He could deal with Yuzu's screams of him being mean instead of ones of him being an indecent pervert.

After that humiliating experience, Ichigo had evaded the use of his computer. He had been strong, determined, and stuck solely to touching himself under his bed sheets. His orgasms lacked the heat and power they normally possessed when matched with visual components. It was a deamanding sacrifice that Ichigo would stick with in order to be strong and undiscovered. He had been succeeding. That was, until, Renji entered the picture.

All bets were off and his desire to explore his own body intensified. After all, pleasure was only a click away.

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Renji was exploding, his eyes caught in a defiant state of disbelief. He blinked, trying to will the sight away. futility bloomed, and he had no expression for his failed attempt. Nothing would surrender its will and obey, nothing would disappear. No groan escaped his lips, no sigh, or even a forceful moan reached the air. His lips were drawn tight, thin lines of desperation. His heart beat with a frantic pace, shocked at his discovery. His mind processed with an incompetent stupor, a reaction to images presented before him.

The words, the letters, the pictures, and the sinful sounds remained intact. They would not vanish, they would not eroded into a the black confines of the box because he wished it so. Desperately, he shook the screen and was rewarded with slithering of bodies. When the images moved it was violent, more forceful,l and startling than he had ever encountered. They twisted with deception before his figure. Words, images, sounds, they were all fraudulent facts and he dared them to be anything else. Illusion must had seized him, forced his eyes to view corruption. Otherwise he had no explanation.

Renji was chocking, his mouth constricting with an essence of paralyzing. His throat was closing, his mind screaming at the absurdly of it all. It was useless to understand, to guess what this site meant. Just when he was about to lose it all, to become truly flabbergasted, a strange thought struck him. Beneath the uncertainty of his own fear at not knowing what he was staring at, a sense of finding a hidden treasure seized him. Gold lacked luster now, silver burned in an ugly gleam, and everything else that was precious no longer held their value. Renji had discovered a secret, something greater than silver bells and sapphire rings.

Renji had discovered a diamond in the rough, a prize to hold above all others. Renji had found what the human's deemed as "adult material". It was risque, it was dangerous, and it was blatantly exposed before his unvirgin eyes. Renji swallowed, the lump in his throat loosening into a downfall of pebbles that turfed his stomach acid into burning salacious. His body stiffened, his manhood hardening into stone, as his eyes traveled over oiled flesh.

Slowly a lecherous mind overtook his. The site upon the screen was a fantasy straight out of gay hell. Red and black borders overlapped to surround a row of tiny pictures.These pictures despite their size were detailed, exposing every nook and cranny of the human flesh. Raunchy words illuminated in glowing text displayed double meanings. Renji's mouth watered, his lips cracking with new found dryness, and his body began to itch. Madness seized him, giving way to lustful thoughts, and lucrative awareness. Stripped Candy, Naughty Chocolate Bear, The Sweet Spot, Explosive; These words were familiar to Renji. Put them together and they registered as one single thing in Renji's mind.

Sex and lots of it.

Renji smirked, his finger's grasping the "mouse". With curiosity blaring in his eyes Renji pressed down on the up raised surface of the mouse. A click resonated, and the tiny little arrow flickered away. Renji waited, his tension mounting, and his groin tingling with heat.

Nothing happened.

Renji blinked then clicked again

No movement ventured forth.

Renji's lips twitched, turning into a snarl that he flashed at the tiny arrow. With desperate determination Renji clicked a third time, the forth following into a explosive fifth until the sound of vicious chirping filled the room. With full blown vehemence, Renji thrashed the the round piece of plastic in alternating movements until the screen moved and Renji froze. Everything disappeared into a backdrop of white.

Had he broke the box? The once strange and luscious picture dissolved. Renji waited, his head swirling until color appeared, fragmented, and jittery. Renji inhaled then released just as a new image appeared.

"The World Of Secretive Blogs. A Foot Note To Hidden Desires."

The title was bedazzling. Renji's brain scratched itself with invisible fingers. Confusion was abound.

With heavy lashes Renji blinked, the words insighting a reaction to raise his eyebrows. Renji narrowed his amber hues into slits, squinting suspiciously at the bizarre headline. A question stood out from the pool of others and Renji choose to recognize it. What was a blog?

The page that had now appeared was in complete contrast to the former. A large black box situated it's self in the middle of the screen. Gold stars danced around its edges while up at the top, words flashed in and out before disappearing to nightmarish pictures of naughty toys. This box encased a column of carefully scrawled words in multicolor letters. In the top corner two bold words sided by white rectangles stood out.

Username and Log In.

These words sat on top of each other. Their rectangles housing tiny rows of stars that looked like small black dots to Renji's eyes. Not seeing anymore pictures of nipples and reddish groins, Renji moved the arrow up to second white rectangle and clicked.

Experimenting, waiting, hoping desperately for a single glimpse of something out of the ordinary.

A repetition of former actions. Renji's inside quivered with unexpected joy. His breath hitched in his throat. His eyes began to water with the straining of detail that he sought after. The page submerged into white and writing dripped itself upon the page. It contained an entry, a conversation list, and a set of small, square pictures.

Renji hesitated, unsure of what to look at. The "user's favorites pics" were condemning. The conversation list was appealing, if not causing another shrug from Renji. However it was the lasted entry that Renji chose to view. It was after divulging himself in the tiny print, that Renji found something more interesting than displayed nudity. The screen read as such.

Screen Name: ThornedStrawberry

User account 2813712597

Last entry. 12/9/07

A Peek Into My Amber Desires

I am ashamed, embarrassed to have hidden my feeling for so long. My thoughts are overriding inside me. I can not take it much longer, having him living so close to me is strangling. He is suffocation, pure damnation, and sexy all in one. For so long I have desired him, for too long I have wanted him, and for to many nights I have found myself awakening in a stinky mess. I can't explain when I first started of dreaming of him. Just that each night for almost a year it has been the same tantalizing dream

I envision him sneaking into my room, cupping my mouth with his hands, and making everything rough. He touches me, slowly, languishingly. I am fallen, consumed in his utter presence. He is my master, my devourer. He controls me like a puppeteer controlling fragile strings. I beg for more, coo like a wanton whore, and continue begging until my throat bleeds "touch me please". He is a tease, trailing kisses along my chest, biting my nipples, and sinking into the loop of my navel. He licks close, oh so close to my nether regions and i buck with need. He strays, nibbling along the curves of my thighs. I squirm, my toes curling into my body, and my breath hitching. He brings his hands up trailing his nails along my sides. Its electricity, thrilling me to my core. My member his weeping now, burning, and leaking whitish dew.

He smiles. His face is masked my a veil of long reddish tendrils. He leans forwards, his fiery locks brushing against my chest and hardening nipples. His hair ghosts over my throat and I shiver. Who knew that a throat could cause such pleasure? My lover grasps my hips, his nails sinking into my flesh. He flips me over, forcing me to my knees. I am bended to his liking. His breath warms my ass, lingering over my balls, and I shudder. He leans forward and takes a tentative lick. He blinds me with his glory, the positive beauty of his arching member sliding against my crack sends me reeling. It is more than fantasy, more than desire, its straining. I am sinking, melting to each lick of his tongue. Each alternating slide of something larger. I scream, my voice lost in the echoes of our foreplay. A quick sampling before striking.

A harsh slap resonates through my ears. He makes contact again, reddening my ass. He punishes me, marks me for him and him only. I am arching, throwing my head back and screaming silently. I bite my lips and bury my hands into my comforter. I throw my head back as he continues spanking me. Each hit is like lightening, forcing my member to continue swelling. With a final slap he pushes me down and flips me over to face him. I am laying flat against my bed, my breath heaving in and out with the rhythm of a ticking clock.

He takes my hands. Slowly he suck each finger, treasuring their tips and curves. My face is pressed into the mattress of my bed. My family is just feet away, my father watching television. If I scream I am sure to give everything away. Can I sustain my actions? Can I truly control my voice from making mewing screams? I have no answer or desire to think anymore as my fiery lover truly makes me hard.

He lifts my knees up, spreads them apart, and smiles. He is animalistic,, carnal in his methods. He licks his fingers, sucking on them until they drip. He swipes at my balls, trailing his digits lower until they circle my ring. I moan, my fingers twisting, and my body bucking. I press against his hand and he spirals around my muscle before inserting one. I stiffen and wait as he stretches me, inserting another, scissoring me until he completes the trio, and I am full. He pushes, prods, and explore me. I am more than moaning now, past groaning, and over sighing with need. I now that i must release myself, to scream into the air. I swallow as he positions himself. His large member is magnificent, it twitching, moving with a single action as he touches my entrance. I now what is to happen next and as he enters me with i final scream his name. My fiery lover, my dream desire, his name is --

RENJI!!!!!!!!!

Renji snaps his head away from the screen, his body shaking as he the intruding voice startles him out of the chair. Renji looks up, he was just about to read the name of the lover when the voice of Ichigo forced him away from the text. Reeling from the printed sex, Renji blinked as an orange blur assaults him. Renji is lifted up into the air and with a violent movement, Ichigo throws Renji across the room. Then with a mumbling stream of noises Ichigo quickly unplugs the computer. The screen collapses into darkness and the images fades before Renji's dizzy eyes.

With a more than redden face and far to long without oxygen Ichigo races towards Renji and grabs him. Ichigo opens his mouth and inhales, about to assault him verbally when Renji beats him to it.

"HEY! I WAS JUST GETTING TO THE BEST PART!"

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Please Review


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6. Sink When You Get Close, Tie Me To The Bed Post.

Warnings! yaoi and sex plus adult themes

disclsmier me own story me, not own characters BLAH!

THANKS YOU MY REVIEWERS!

swordfighter: Thank you for finding my fic and giving it a try. i hope you continue reading

HumanInfiltrator: umm. okay thank you! i take that comment as a ood thing that my writing is realistic. thanks!

Tennak: thank you for the long review! i hope everything works out for them too heheh

Ogichi: yes i love the real sex scene but i'm tease and i love to draw readers in. besides waiting builds momentum.

swordfighter: lol i hate to think hard on names that Ichigo might use.

Penpal: oh thanks for the love i'm writing every chance i get.

X: thank you for thinking its one of the best fanfics you have read in awhile

reni4ever: i shall continue!

Aresy: thanks for finding it funny! this is my favorite bleach pairing

Touya06: nice screen name. i had to leave there! i'm lazy! lol i shall keep writing.

ami" thanks for the two reviews. lol yes byakuya does seem like that. he will appar in the fic later with all his pervertedness. thank you for liking my writing style!

and my one reviewer, thank you! for chapter 5.

dnite07: i try hard to bring humor and naughtiness up a standard. thanks for finding my fic funny.

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Ichigo exhaled a freezing release of breath that chilled him to the spot. His fingers twitched like amputees, his eyes fixated on the floor, and he was held captive. His fear was stripped from him, replaced instead by venom. It coursed through his veins like liquid desire. Slowing his movements down to a wheezing crawl . Deadly, wanting, and horrish. His brain whispered feverishly to him. Soft coos and yelping "Nos" of denial encircled him and he exhaled once again. A pattern had been established. A callous rhythm of inhales that were filled with anguish. Composed with the knowledge that was sentencing him. The truth was painful, clear, and simple. No extra additives or fancy words could change that.

It was all over, a nightmare failed to compare with the horrorshow of facts. Kurosaki Ichigo had been discovered.

The words spoken from Renji's lips infiltrated Ichigo and he closed his eyes. He allowed himself to be lost in the final movements of terror. The hour had finally dawned and the stale ringing of the invisible clock brought a sense of imposing dread to Ichigo's heart. Ichigo heard clips and phrases, words flowing from the other man's mouth, and he felt sick like ginger ale. Silence was domineering, control the flow of words. It was a barrier encased by a veil of blatant realization. That was, except the slow motion movements of Renji's lips and the blaring thumbing of Ichigo's heart. It was breath taking and it caused Ichigo to blink. Ultra-violet and stunning, Ichigo's vision was swimming in psychedelic colors created by his spacing out. Fear was redundant, to mordifing to explain the spinning of his mind.

"I was just getting to the good part."

How sinister of a phrase, how ugly, and deadly the situation had progressed to.

"I was just getting to the good part."

Didn't Renji grasp the magnitude of what he had just inhaled from the screen? Didn't Renji realize he had just exposed Ichigo as a junkie? An addict that needs nothing more than a substantial fix from the most humiliating of addictions? Ichigo questioned himself, gulped, and stared at the shimmering colors.

"I was just getting to the good part."

Ichigo knew then that no matter what would happen, that the current exchange of words flinging from both of their mouths would forever be burned into the pages of history. There was screaming, fists beating against thighs, and voices merging into garbled obscenities. There was a whitewash of fog surrounding Ichigo, slowing down his movements, and coating his brain with a molasses goo of confusion. Ichigo could not think, just shout. Ichigo could not articulate, just thrash his body and point. Ichigo could not tell Renji a good enough lie to sate his burning questions. Instead the invisible colors gleamed impressively until everything stopped spinning. The whitewash had ended, and Ichigo truly breathed. Renji's voice cut him, reconfirming that he would have to act. To face the reality of this confrontation.

Ichigo would have to play his cards right. Otherwise, he'd be force to tell the truth.

"So what? You're yelling at me for the dirty, butchered piece of writing that ya wrote? Are ya saying that its my fault that ya couldn't contain yourself?" Renji stared at Ichigo. Renji's cheeks flushed, his face wild, and his eyes dancing in red. Renji's hair had come lose, tangling down his shoulders, and cascading loosely around his face. Renji looked shaggy, slightly mused, and more than pissed off. His stance was powerful, his posture creating tension, and imprisoning Ichigo in a cave of unease.

"I'm saying that you are to fault with everything! You are a tormentor Renji and you had no right to read what was written there. Regardless of who wrote it!" Ichigo fired back. His body shook with the effects of his discovery. His eyes danced over Renji's and he inhaled the powerful scent of the offended. Renji was towering, pressing his energy around Ichigo, and forcing him stare at Renji's all to familiar form. Renji looked ready to bite and Ichigo gulped.

What happens when fantasy becomes reality? Can it truly transcend the imaginary hipe that illusion creates?

"So ya are admitting that ya wrote it then? If so, ya could have been more descriptive. More hands on." Renji stepped forward and braced himself against Ichigo's chest. Ichigo leaned back, his body absorbing the scent of sweat and raw heat. Ichigo was twisting.

"Back off Renji." It was a warning plea. Ichigo narrowed his eyes into half lids, his body swaying close to Renji's.

"Or what?" Renji whispered, his breath ghosting over Ichigo' ears. Flashes of dreams, remembered suggestions of flesh, and the non existent echoes of yes, harder, faster, fuck me now! swirled around Ichigo's short circuiting brain causing a disastrous reaction. Renji dipped his head to the side. He smelled the scent of strawberries and blew one forceful breath against Ichigo's neck.That was all it took, the final push before Ichigo struck.

With strong hands Ichigo reached up and grabbed Renji's face. His lips moved with violence, smashing against Renji's. It was swift, angry, and demanding. Ichigo lunged forward, his lips assaulting a stun Renji and kissing him with all the passion Ichigo had building up inside him. Ichigo's hands shot forward, grabbing Renji's shirt and pulled him impossibly closer.

Shock wore off and Renji became a copy cat.

Fire, pleasure, and heat beyond all others soared between them. Lips opened and tongues battled for dominance, sinking over curves of chins, biting against inside flesh, and swiping at pearly whites. They were kissing, grasping, and gasping. They were shuddering, pressing their bodies together. They were grinding, lifting legs, and entangling. They were both forgetting everything and finally giving in.

Ichigo shuddered, arched his back like never before, and urged Renji on. Renji relished in the sensation of Ichigo's squirming body, his soft moans, and the feel of his ass. Renji screamed, releasing his hold on Ichigo's swollen lips and shuddering with pleasureful seizures. With strong hands Renji grabbed Ichigo's ass, squeezing it into fisty balls before returning to bite Ichigo's upper lip.

Renji lifted Ichigo off the floor, urging Ichigo to wrap his hips around Renji. Lithe legs encircled a narrow waist and Renji pressed forward. Awakardly eluding the ability to walk. With need so powerful Renji tumbled forward and pressed Ichigo against his bedroom wall. Their bodies slide down, up, and sideways against smooth plaster. Renji's hands found refuge against the wall, and he slammed Ichigo's body against it again and again as their mouths continued to suffocate each other.

fiery had new meaning, desire found relinguishing, and tormenting found its resting place in simmering saliva.

"Renji," Ichigo mewed between desperate oxygen breaks. The world was crumbling, Ichigo's lips were shivering, convulsing with the rapidly heated kiss of wanting. Ichigo was thrusting, banging his head against flesh and crying with memories of past dreams. Reality was to much, fantasy didn't seem surreal enough. Renji was too good of a kisser.

With Ichigo propped against the wall, Renji released his hold and ripped open Ichigo's button up shirt. He sank a hand inside and lowered his head to bite. Ichigo screamed again, mumbling broken syllables with amazing vocal capacity.

"Say it again!" Renji screamed, removing his teeth. Fleshy honey and rawness eat your heart out.

He had littered Ichigo's chest with bites, red marks of teeth indentions, and had left a wet trail of saliva coursing down Ichigo's front. With a smirk and tonguey kiss, Renji reached up grasped a harden nipple. It was hard, tougher than a pebble, and it made Ichigo cry even more vehemently. Renji twisted and Ichigo continued his sonnet of the name Abarai Renji.

Renji relented, released the abused nipple, and subjected its twin to equal punishment before raking his nails down Ichigo's chest. There was no hair, no course wiry covering of unattractiveness. Just a fine dusty of down that made Renji's arousal even harder. Ichigo pressed with the desire to return the torture, to return the pleasure, reached up and pulled Renji's on scarlet locks. He burrowed his fingers in it, causing Renji to jerk his head back. Renji's scalp burned and tingled. Ichigo tugged and ground his hips against something harder than rocky abs.

Their members were straining against their pants. Weeping, producing wet patches of dark material on their fronts. Sending large jolts of pleasure running through their bodies when they collided.

Somehow their dualistic display of walking, slinking against a wall, and humping horizontally found its way to Ichigo's desk. Somehow hands retracted from vermilion hair to rip apart a shinigami's top covering and suck at a red head's own neglected nipples. Somehow biting, scratching, and licking everything seemed to be too normal, to overpowering not to lead to thrusting and squeezing the innards of thighs. Somehow Ichigo's once precious computer was sent crashing to the floor in a display of sparks and broken plastic. Books, mouse, keyword, pieces of paper, and other trivia junk surrounded a crack screen as Renji swept Ichigo's sturdy desk clean.

Renji dropped Ichigo against the slab of wood and climbed on top of the almost naked shinigami. With fumbling fingers, Renji unzipped Ichigo's pants. He grasped at the boxer's beneath and with one motion pulled both coverings down to bunch around Ichigo's ankles. Renji leaned up, moving Ichigo's hands to commit the same act. Ichigo bit his lip, moaning as Renji fidgeted. Ichigo suppressed horrific anger. Renji was wearing his hakama and untieing them was more than a wait. With rushing fingers he undid the sash, grasped at the dark material, and when they would slide down Ichigo screamed. With frustration that amused Renji, Ichigo ripped Renji's pants off to discover a surprise. Renji didn't wear underwear.

An eyebrow lifted but Ichigo didn't dwell on that tasty fact as he continued to strip Renji of his modesty. Soon both of them were as good as naked. Only minor strips of clothing creating a barrier of proportional annoyance.

"Are you done?" Renji whispered.

"Shut up and fuck me Renji" Ichigo growled back and grasped Renji's ass.

"Yes master," Renji squeaked as nails burrowed themselves inside his soft flesh.

"Glad you know your place!" Ichigo twisted his nails and pulled Renji against is chest.

"Careful Ichigo, or i'll put you across my lap and spank you." Renji breathed as he licked Ichigo's lips.

It was a repeat conversation. This time lacking the annoyance, but gaining all the heated aggression and sexual fulfillment.

Renji licked the side of Ichigo's face. He nibbled on Ichigo's ear and lifted Ichigo's legs. Renji dunked under the opening of the spread limbs and rested them on his shoulders. With slick fingers Renji teased Ichigo. Sliding calloused digits down the strawberry head's crack. Renji was swift, slow, and terrorizing. Ichigo bucked with need as Renji inserted a single finger. The tight carven was a burning furnace, Constricting around Renji's fingers in sighting a buck from Ichigo nd i whimper from Renji. The single appendage explored, swirled around muscle before Renji slipped in another finger. Ichigo muffled a scream, his bofy pushing back on Renji's fingers. With a scissoring motion Renji loosened Ichigo while with a stroking manner Renji pushed Ichigo near the edge.

A tongue traced virgin curves, dipping deliciously close, and navigating around pulsing heat. Ichigo's member twitched as Renji circled around the base. Tasting, and biting before licking swiftly along its length. The taste of salt raced along Renji's tongue as he brought his free hand up to squeeze Ichigo's balls. Ichigo screamed, squirmed his body closer to Renji, and shouted "fuck yes" when Renji inserted the third and final finger.

Exploring was difficult. More than a tricky procedure when both of Renji's hands were doing different movements. His left hand was sliding around Ichigo genitals while is right was buried three fifths in the man's ass. Ichigo panted, his breath a dog's lament as Renji finally slid out of him. With a wicked smile Renji kissed him roughly.

One last deep heated kiss before causing Ichigo spasm in pain. With much force Renji entered Ichigo, slamming his member into the still to tight hole. Ichigo whimpered, tried not to press back, and urged Renji to move. Renji grunted, pressing his hands on Ichigo' shoulders and started his movements. In and out, fast and hard, and swift and pain easing. Renji twisted the stinging pain into a screaming match of pleasure. Ichigo shuddered, panted harder, and felt his body melt into butter.

Renji pounded into him. Bringing his member close to Ichigo's exit before slamming back in again. Renji swirled around inside of him until he hit something that caused white, hot bliss to erupt before Ichigo's eyes. With a final scream Ichigo urged Renji on until a tightening in Ichigo's balls signal what he had been waiting two years for. With a scream that matched Ichigo's Renji came spilling his speed into Ichigo's body. Ichigo's member released, coating both of their stomach with milky white semen.

Seconds passed, both of them staring at the other, as there breath's settled back into a peaceful pattern. Renji released his hold on Ichigo's shoulders and slide out of the still tight hole. Ichigo closed his eyes, starring at shimmering colors, and felt Renji's warm breath against his ear. Renji whispered softly, the words tragic, and oh so condemning.

"I was just getting to the good part."

Ichigo's eyes shot open, his mind halting to a stand still. The whitewash confusion had returned The room was spinning, tossing him back and forth violently before slowing down to a topsy curvy crawl.

Ichigo blinked. The room stopped spinning, and his eyes focused in on the real body before him.

"I WAS JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART!"

Renji shouted from his position on the floor. From where Ichigo had thrown him. Ichigo blinked, cleared the colors, cleared the rushed cheeks, and cleared the vision. His breath stopped, his lungs began to scream and Renji starred at him with confusion.

"OH!"

Nothing had been real, everything was fantasy.

"OH!"

Nothing was sane, the actions he had committed were fragmented. It was just a desire unfilled.

"OH! YOU BASTARD!" Renji screamed at him and Ichigo snapped back into reality. Renji was starring at him, standing in front of his blushing face, and yelling.

" WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SEX WAS THAT EASY TO FIND HERE!" Renji quirked an eyebrow and asked an alarming question. His face composed of seriousness.

"You got anymore things that holds porn and all that craziness?"

What happens when reality becomes starts playing game and fantasy seemed oh so touchable.

So Ichigo starred, gulped, and fell backwards. Ichigo hit the ground with a thud and starred at the red head standing over him. Renji opened his mouth to say something else but Ichigo cut him off.

"I hate you Renji"

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I'm evil! but i thought it would be funny and a good chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. Physical Wounds And Just Plain Physical

Warnings: Adult Themes

Disclaimers: I own story but not bleach sadly.

YAY thank you for the reviews!

ShadowofLight: lol i hope you didn't fall to hards. thanks! i worked hard on the lemon.

Yaoi is in the air: yes Ichigo does have a vivid imagination and maybe more of the internet will come into play.

JaganBoltz: YAY my sex scene is good. lol

Touya06: thanks for the review. Ichigo is more than kinky and that will show up soon.

Nex: thanks so much! i work very hard to make this an awesome story

MibuWolf: yes i am meanie, lol

i know many more have reviewed me but in a haste to print this i can not post all of your names. Despite this THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY SCHOOL IS KILLING ME! So much work! i'm sorry for the late updat.

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"I also liked the picture of the one couple. The red intertwined with the black, lace leggings along the crouch. Talk about revealing!" It was a happy voice. One graced with delightful eyes and a feral smile. Pouting lips met the groves of teeth as they were sucked in a passionate way. This mind was a dreaming one. Lost in lecherous exploitations and breathless positions. Curiosity of the carnal prose caused a deep thirst for answers. Why had someone committed such a wonderful task as to creating that writing of sexual release and conquest?

"Uh huh..." It was annoyance. A voice lost to the slow decay of boredom. This mind was a sighing organ of dissatisfaction. Why had he been discovered? Why must the others find his secret coven of pleasure? Why must he be forsaken and denied the right to fuck to his heart's content? Such punishing questions created by the rigid standards of his life. He was forced to hide, to adhere to sneaking around behind lock and key, and sighing with dread. His one love, his greatest desire could never be told. A solemn head bobbed up and down with a long, drawn out rhythm. Lips were just as pouted, sucked in, and marked with indentions; but with the sole purpose of acting affronted. With ears that burned from the explicit dialog, Ichigo listened to the lively voice beside him. The conversation had been raging on for far to long, lapsing into a dry staleness.

"And if I had my way, I would have been more descriptive. Like, added toys. I heard and saw once--Yumichika is a very bad sex addict-- that there's this rod thing--" Renji was lost in his banter. His mind trapped in imagination of the fetish kind. His face was a lit in pleasure, his hands dancing with each word as his eyes shined with a child's delight. (Sex was good. No fancy words or descriptions. It was good. Period. Maybe fantastic. But thats it.)

"UH huh." Ichigo was warped. His mind was a blank slate after a furious crash. His hands came up to hold his face as his eyes sunk low. His body was collapsed, limb, and disinterested as he stared at the shiny screen. He was imagining, dreaming of fictional outcomes that his other self, the one locked away in a fairy tale, had survived. His other self, his mental self, had received a taste of something euphorical. His mind had been fucked by Renji. Lucky bastard.

"Plus if ya guys can order it on the "computer" and the "TV" what's next!" Renji threw his hands up and bounced gleeful on Ichigo's couch as soft pitter-patter of voices resonated from the television set. It was back ground music, something that Ichigo could lose himself in while Renji discussed the pros and cons of the sexual world. Ichigo had forced the television to not only be his confidant but also his scapegoat. He had forced the innocent plastic box full of wires to become tarnished, to become a victim of his resignation not to listen to Renji's opinions. Therefore while Renji chattered on, Ichigo slumbered in a state of forlorn thoughts. What would he do? What would Renji try next before he finally broke Ichigo's resolve? Was he that wicked? That decadent, that his lust for Renji was blind sighting his world? Renji shouted out another half thought sentence and Ichigo returned an equally pondered upon response.

It was all so cruelly unfair.

"That's nice." It was a nonlaborous answer. A gift that Ichigo had perfected after only the numerous dealings with his father. Two words that expressed perfectly how he felt. Burdened and even more burdened. There need not be some descriptive adjective or cliche expression to describe his position. He was only unnerved and fearful. He was excited only to the point that Renji was an idiot. The man had not read all that the story contained. Ichigo was grateful and furious all in painful tantrum. It was that lingering question, that nagging voice of what ifs that drove him crazy on the inside. What would have transpired if Renji had read that final part. Would he have cursed Ichigo to the heavens, then slapped him with the computer? Or perhaps Renji would have blurred the lines between fiction and reality, been more than a requited fantasy, and made Ichigo's wet dreams tangible.

Sticky, sticky, slow and sticky

It was a blistering train wreck after all. A double connotation of words. Sticky, sticky, utterly sticky. As if the word "If" wasn't already so messy, "it" had gained a new identity. One that Ichigo kept repeating over and over in his head as he listened to the television set. If a transsexual male could find love with a former drag queen then why couldn't he? It was that one thought, that moment of doubt that caused a nightmare of a question to bloom. With a face of masked horror, Ichigo diverted away from the "Why's", "Whats", and the terror some "IF's" and into the fearful categories of "Was" and "Did's". A group that was more condemning, more life changing than any self examining question could attach to a why. The question was simple.

Was he truly in love with Renji? Did he, Ichigo Kurosaki, desired Renji simply because he was desirable? Had his lapses from reality created the longing, the suffocating experience of being in love? Had fiction finally become so intertwined with his life that detaching it from the fibers of reality become impossible? Had Ichigo found an out lit away from the absurdity of his life and channeled it into delirious obsession?

The soft voice of Renji brought Ichigo away from the tv's music and his conclusions to answer another question. Ichigo turned his head, his eyes betraying his shaking insides, and shrugged at Renji. Renji studied Ichigo, his eyes absorbing the hidden flinches and flickers of Ichigo's eyelashes. With a sift say Renji then returned to his story of Yumichika. Ichigo closed his eyes softly, focusing on the image of Jill, the transsexual, dressed as a geisha.

For almost two hours Ichigo had been feigning watching television. For almost one hundred and twenty minutes he had answered in a flat, monotone inotation. Ichigo's response to Renji's little escapade of literature was startling. So Ichigo's reaction was even more surprising. Ichigo had gasped, his eyes rolling back to see his own insides as his chest had constricted painfully and he was overcome with sudden dizziness. He had lost his balance and swooned, hitting the floor with a mighty thump. For nearly twenty minutes Renji had stood over his fallen body, staring at him with a look of utter complexity before venturing slowly down to poke him in the chest.

Had time stood still? Lost its pattern to destroy?

Angered and annoyed, Ichigo had smacked Renji's hand away and lumbered down the steps to sit sulkingly on the couch. Why must he envisioned the purely fictional? With a sour mood, Ichigo had listened to Renji blabber on about how great the "strange sex box was." luckily for Ichigo, Renji hadn't asked him if he had anything to do with the creation of that sensuous piece of writing. Or, as Renji had now labeled it, the thing that turned his balls blue.

How poetic Renji was.

Fucking red heads. There, Ichigo could be just as poetic.

"And I would like to explore more on that site. What's it called?" Renji cast a quick look at Ichigo. The other male was distracted, Ichigo's face slack, and his eyes avoiding everything but the television box. Renji took notice of this and pondered about sex, the computer box, and just why would Ichigo have been using such a thing. The possibilities were numerous. The place for all your needs. If it vibrates, wiggles, or is coated in chocolate we have it for less." (It was a horrible fucking site.) Ichigo cursed silently in his head with mighty vehemence. How his once favorite site for happiness had wronged him. He was betrayed and left to the mercy of Renji's comprehension of the obvious. Ichigo would have to make sure he deleted the site from his bookmarks. (Thank kami I still have my skin flicks saved on my media player.) Maybe he had created the illusion of love.

"Ya ya, I like that ThornedRose. He sounds like a hot piece of ass." Another quick glance. Renji licked his lips and mused. A silent scheme was better than one shared to all. Renji smirked and watched as the name ThornedRose caused Ichigo's eyes to flutter. A response was better than none, especially when it brought with it conclusions. Even when Ichigo wished to become translucent he would always shine opaguely.

"Sure, he's a real ball of fun." Ichigo pressed his back into the couch and gulped. The sound of his screen name murmured on Renji's lips caused his insides to squirm. Was it possible to read between the lines? For Renji to guess that Ichigo had been longing for the red head for centuries? Or.. was it simply days, maybe minutes, mere seconds...or possibly only for a flicker of an instant. Was Renji what he truly desired? Could he possibly fall for the over bearing, carnal man?

What had his first sexual dream of Renji been like? Had it been amazing? Perhaps full filing? Had Ichigo enjoyed it? Had he truly begged for more? Or maybe, just maybe...they were only misunderstood and mislabeled nightmares.

Renji took stock of their positions. They were close. Their hands resting against smooth leather as their bodies were bent in preferred positions. Renji closed his eyes, released a blissful sigh, and slid closer to the still dazed Ichigo. He waited for a few seconds, watching the images on the television set before moving again. Ichigo's eyes fluttered, his brain absorbing the filtered images on the screen. Ichigo wanted to ignore Renji, to forget, even for a little while all that had happened. Ichigo wanted the burning questions to end. However Renji wanted them to continue. With the skill of a Cheshire cat, he moved with a coy simplicity. Pressing his body against Ichigo without truly making any physical contact. It was the illusion, the creation of a second skin. A skin that set the boundaries for every action. It was the sensation, the caress of one body soaking in the other. Ichigo shuddered, his mind still trapped in the illuminated screen and his own realm.

Renji frowned, his lips smearing in distaste, the effect was working but much to subtle. Renji tilted his head, leaning in just to the surface of that false skin. He brought his face up against Ichigo's right ear, breathing in and out. It was slow and painstakingly close. The very type of physical contact that deserves its own slow motion moment. Renji smelled the fragrance, the scent of softness. The soft downy hairs bristled against Renji's nose. With a controlled voice, his tone that of a purr, Renji breathed.

" Ya know... I would like nothing more than to bend ya over this couch and fuck ya until the leather rips." Renji waited, the seconds the perfect amount, his words possessing the correct roughness to screw with the tension he had created. It was perfect contrast. Renji breathed once more, tipping his head back allowing only the very tip of his nose to braze Ichigo's fleshly shell. With a yawn, Renji returned to his original position and distance. Ichigo waited, his very essence tingling with itchy need. Ignorance consumed him, his mind lost to the sense that something tormenting had just assaulted his yearning body.

Or perhaps it was just physical need... to be desirable simply to be desired. To be wanted simply to be wanted. To fuck solely for the purpose of release. Ichigo's jaw tightened, his eyes watering as he turned his head to meet Renji's. The answers were not needed for Ichigo to draw a conclusion. By now they were irrelevant. Pain and anger at past days event clotted the ability to comprehend. The screws were turning in Ichigo's tightened jaw, the sound almost comically, as the action was time staking.

His ears were ringing, his eyes blinking from their television daze. Renji's voice was an echo to him. The words had filtered in and part of what they should have meant seem to shake him. Ichigo stared, stared at Renji's perfect composure. The grin that was not sealed properly, The way his body boasted his every intention. Ichigo continued staring even after the word starring had progressed into something else. It was scathing, demoralizing. It was the type of stare that Renji would have projected himself in this situation. Renji's silent demeanor gave it all away and Ichigo could not see past the smug smile and the gleeful eyes. Ichigo was a stalker from the up most, closest proximity. Renji wanted him.

"...What?" Ichigo slurped out in one dizzy breath. He opened his mouth, trying to form another word, another syllable but failed. He closed his mouth, his teeth biting down on the plump skin. He moved fast, bring a finger up to shake in the air. It was an attention grabber, a way to communicate when his voice failed him. His anger was nerve dissolving. Limiting his responses to foolish struggles. His digit trembled in the air, his mouth continuing to gape open. He could not articulate a comeback, a response to that ostentatious sentence.

He knew what Renji had said was offending or at the least revolting. He knew that he should react. He tried again, desperately. His lips moved with violent tremors, ghosting over the word "Fuck" his tongue preparing to sing, but he was beaten to the deliverance. His words were washed out by to the shrill ringing of a cellular phone.

Renji jumped, his body jerking in surprise, and reached awkwardly into his pant's pocket. His fingers struggled over the demin, awkward, not used to such coverings before slipping inside. Renji face was a mixture of annoyance and expectation. His fingers continued their cloaked struggle before his hand emerged from the material and the volume of the ringing increased. Renji stared down at the scratched and dented phone before quickly flipping it open. The sound instantly changed, morphing from a ring into a dull blimp. Renji studied the screen and then with a smile, snapped the tiny phone shut. Pleasure was clearly written, the violin filling the void that the tiny phone had created. Renji turned to Ichigo, his face alit in deviousness; the perfect contrast to Ichigo's stark and gloomy features.

"Time to go to work."

It was this tiny sentence that Renji issued as he left over the couch and sprinted upstairs. All the while Ichigo's mouth was still working on his comeback to Renji's not so innoncent declaration.

"Fuck"

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Ichigo's mind held a begrudged pattern of discombobulation. With mediocre skills, he assessed the slippery surface upon which he was slipping. Renji. Renji was his slippery surface. The chasm looming beneath his swaying body tickled at his feet with intrepid questions while his mind, heart, and arousal twisted him every which way. It was a duel of moral conscience, of dreams, and of action. For a week Renji had possessed him. For a week Ichigo had given power to a unknowing Renji. Renji's sly touches, his frequenting slip of the hand and tongue, the crude sensation of breath upon breath. Renji was toying with him, testing him to see if he would abide to his inhibition less games. It was all just a joke, Ichigo was just the next conquest.

Renji wanted him, Ichigo could see that, it wasn't hard to process the looks that fluttered across a man's visage. Ichigo himself had returned such looks. If it wasn't for a intrusive four letter word Ichigo would have given in and joined with Renji. If it hadn't been for the painful fact that he loved Renji and Renji wanted nothing more. Ichigo allowed the man to molest his dreams, Renji. Ichigo wanted Renji, he wanted to kill him!

They were running, their hearts pounding in their ears. Their heads were swimming, one lost in the physical excitement of what was to come, the other simply lost. Renji released a zealous wail into the night air and soared into the scenery. Towering skyscrapers and arching building collided with his feet, his body screaming for the fight. His blood was fuming, simmering in the expected thrill of battle. Finally, finally he'd be able to do some work and defeat an evil, big bad hollow. The air crackled, energy exploding as he closed into grown zero.

Behind Renji, Ichigo followed, his face a mixture of confusion. Ichigo kept in pace with Renji, his body shaking just as much as the red head's. They were both ready to fight, to beat out whatever tension they had created in each other. Their sexual frustrations had caused short circulating wires inside their thumping hearts. It was abstract, a feeling of desperation, of pure, arbitrary wanting that caused them to race into the unknown. They wanted justification, even if it didn't connect to their problems at hand. Ichigo's face scrunched up into a frown and he replayed the days events. He needed to scream, to destroy the rage and fury that boiled inside. Ichigo needed to become relevant, to find a way to connect with his life again. Renji was tormenting him, forcing him to be confined to blushes and screaming insults.

The report of the Hollow's status had been bland, lacking the knowledge of the beast and its abilities. The only thing that had registered on the cracked screen was the location of the hollow. No energy reading, no class ranking, or listing of prior attacks. Somehow that didn't seem to matter now, full detailed facts never stopped Renji from charging ahead. To Ichigo such knowledge would have only gotten in the way. Neither really thought about the impending battle or the possibilities as they stopped their movements and stood in the swirling wind. Ichigo didn't even have time cough in the wake of the spinning dust before they understood just what they were dealing with.

The masses were running, their screams lost in the sizzling energy. The ground shook, its skin cracking with the force asserted upon it. The Hollow was a classical monster, vision of cynical devilness. Its structure was gigantic, foretelling that it was an evil, big bad hollow. It's shell was ghostly white, cracked, and it the shape of a squid. Its eyes were liquid coal, shimmering in the dark as its numerous tentacles swept the ground. It was a sub par Arrancar. A lucky escapee that the search teams deployed by Soul Society had missed. Renji grinned at this, silently added a check mark to his report.

Renji landed first, his feet screeching to a hault leaving streaks of dark along the building's roof. Ichigo landed a few feet to Renji's right, his breath heavy, his hands clutched at the hilt of his sword. They both looked upon the Arrancar, memorized by its gruesome appearance. It moved at a snails pace. Its squid like arms pushing its body along the ground. Its telltale hole was located in the center of its mantle. Every so often one of its eight tentacles, would reach into the air and smack the side of a building.

"Why are all the Arrancar ugly bastards?" Renji threw the question to Ichigo and unsheathed Zabimaru. Ichigo studied the almost Arrancar, his face was forlorn as he realized that for almost a month he had not slain a hollow. This would be the first, and he questioned whether there was some connection involved to the disappearances of the average, neighborhood monsters. Ichigo threw a side glance at Renji's back. The red heads activities in soul society were not confined to strictly bed room quarters. Rukia had been quite vocal in her tales of Renji's exploitations. The man was always looking for the next great, piece of ass. Ichigo wanted to believe that Renji wasn't...he just wanted to believe in Renji.

False hope for a realist.

Renji shouted out another questioned and laughed. Ichigo did not answer Renji's question. Dark shadows drew lines of misery on Ichigo's face, his mind reeling. He wanted to throw Renji to the ground and beat the mouth that dared to cause him so much turbulence. Instead, he was forced to look up at the could be arrancar when Renji shouted out in surprise. The beast had stopped its movements and was doing something not so ordinary for a hollow. One long tentacle, different in color than the rest, reached down along the ground towards the fleeing civilians. Its color was molten red, its girth corruptive, and it skin dripping in purple slime. It slithered along the ground and instead of grabbing a human it twisted up and quivered in the air.

"What the-" Renji didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. The tentacle began to move back in forth as if it was beating against the sky. A putrid smelled filled the air, causing both shinigami to relocate themselves to a building top that was not so close to the Arrancar. They watched transfixed, hands covering their nostrils, as purple fumes seeped out of the swishing limb, leaking out from suction cup like bumps on its length.

The Arrancar lifted its beak like mouth and released a high pitch wail. The two pieces of its eggshell beak clicking together in a high speed pace. Its screech caused the shinigami to scream, to cover their ears. Their noses exposed to the volatile gas that the tentacle was secreting. It was then that the Arrancar's actions took a more frightening turn. The sky began to split, the fabric separating ningenkai from the realm of the hollows ripping open. The scream produced by the Arrancar increased in volume as the void started to grow from a tiny slit to large opening. The tentacle slid towards the opening and slipped inside.

"What the hell is it doing?" Renji screamed over the noise. His ears were pounding, his body weakening. His nose burned with itching fire, his eyes watering.

The Arrancar's tentacle was moving back and forth in the other dimension, tracing the edges of the rip, as the Arrancar lifted its other tentacles into the air. A minute passed before finally the Arrancar ceased its ear splitting racket. The tentacle then retracted itself from the rip. Its tip curled around something pallid. Clutched in its tentacle was a hollow. Its size was large, its body whiter than the Arrancar's.

The hollow did not struggle or flail its body. It was merely limp, its appearance that of death as the Arrancar lowered it to the ground. The hollow hit the ground with a thud causing a dent in the concrete. Ichigo and Renji watched in fixation as the Arrancar did something neither them had ever expected. It drug its body forward, its limb scraping along the ground, and then with another mighty shriek, swallowed the hollow whole.

It was a slow motion movement for Ichigo, the screams of the Arrancar jingling around his brain. He felt like molasses, heavy, and unable stop its slow descent. Maybe that was why Ichigo finally did what he did.

"What type of crazy shit is this!?" Ichigo screamed, shaking Zangetsu at the Arrancar. It was beyond absurdity, far from ordinary, and more than Ichigo could take. He was near his limit the moment Renji had discovered his computer and began whispering sexual phrases, but having seen a freaky Arrancar eat its own kind was the final straw. It was too weird for him, it was simply to much to deal with. Ichigo was finally having his much, deserved meltdown.

"Oi what are ya screaming at Ichigo. Ya been acting weird all day. Stop Fucking around!" Renji retorted back, starring at the other' man strange behavior. Ichigo's face was flushed, his body tensed, and on the offensive. Ichigo's voice sliced through the air like a siren and caught the attention of the Arrancar. Renji saw this and knew that Ichigo needed to calm down. Otherwise destroying the enemy would be close to impossible.

"Stop fucking around! Stop fucking around he says! Well what else am I suppose to do RENJI!" Renji took a step back, his eye brows raising to his hair line. Renji discerned the maddening gleam hidden in Ichigo's eyes. It was startling.

Of coarse Renji comment just seemed to fuel Ichigo's rage further. Ichigo's mind was dizzy. The past swarming around and bringing his memories up to be played. It was painful, causing him to recount the last two years----his sneaking around, his fixation on Renji, his dreams, his hands, his last shout, and the imaginary feel of lips against his neck.

The soft mantra of the words of insanity swallowed him whole. It was all to much and dam broke. Ichigo's body shook, racked with seizures. He lifted his head, his eyes burning with injustice, and he cursed at the man that forced him to become unhinged. Forget the Arrancar, forget the fighting, forget ultimate justice. Renji was the one that needed to be smacked.

"Hey watch ya self, we have a job to do not act like a fairy and be freaking out!" Renji exploded, his anger rising to the surface. Ichigo's erratic behavior was modifying, forcing Renji to take his eye off the Arrancar. Renji glared at the shaking man, pointed a finger, and screamed back at the orange haired shinigami. Neither noticed the beast had turned towards them, its attention caught by their shouting match.

"Shut ya mouth and lets get to work! We don't have the time to be acting like fucked over idiots!" Enraged, Renji threw the insult at Ichigo. He watched it hit and the visible sting that followed. Ichigo's eyes were on fire, amber hued melting into vermilion red. His face was flushed, his veins popping to the surface of his skin to become visible. Renji braced himself, pushing his reiatsu around Ichigo. He let out a warning, low, and humming with energy. Ichigo felt the warming, allowed the reiatsu to gravitate along his skin. It was heated, the energy sizzling around his flesh and causing his eyes to play tricks.

"I was just getting to the good part." It was a crpytic echo. One that brought with it the feeling of hardened members and bucking hips. Ichigo turned his head to the side, allowing his memories to over come him---In and down, pulsating, becoming one, forever and fornever, now, no now, yes now, now NOW!"

"AWWW! THATS IT!" Ichigo threw his head back and cried. Let the sonnet of insanity sing to the heavens. For the scroned and the forsaken will find there means of retribution. Ichigo tightened his hold upon Zangetsu and with charged. Ichigo swung at Renji, releasing a wave of energy at the shinigami as he dashed towards him. Stone cracked, a scream was returned, and Ichigo only perceived the white-wash static of Renji's complacent statements. Dizzy, breathless, insanity. No adjective could touch Ichigo as he acted with pristine ignorance.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Renji screamed, dodging the blade of Ichigo's sword. Shock overcame his features, his feet struggling to avoid the crumbling concrete of the roof top. Debre soared threw the air and Renji jumped back to avoid conclusion. With shaking hands and blinking eyes he withdrew Zabimaru from his sheath intime to block another barade of energy from Ichigo. Ichigo rushed forward and kicked a stone at Renji. It shattered, the dust creating an opening for Ichigo appear at Renji's side. Then, as Renji tried to see through the dust and rock particles, Ichigo caught the edge of Renji's left arm with Zangetsu. With angered, surprise Renji pulled his hands back and thusted the hilt of Zabimaru at Ichigo's porclean skin. It connected and a stream of blood flowed over flaming eyes. Ichigo jumped back, his left hand releasing Zagetsu. It scraped along the gound as Ichigo came to a hault. With blood flowing over his eyes, Ichigo threw his head back, and screamed. Renji stared on in bewilderment. His arm stung with a a dull sting and he realized that Ichigo had attacked him. Sharp pain, visible only through his eyes, overcame Renji.

"What the fuck are you doing Ichigo!" Renji shouted over the noise of Ichigo's screaming. The sound caused a tremor in Renji's body and he forced himself not to listen to the pitful sound of his love's cursing.

Maybe that was why he stood still when Ichigo charged again. The blade of Zangetsu slicing his arm once again as he lost himself in Ichigo's madness.

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okay i lied no kiss yet.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A Reflection

It was an utter sin, a reckless development of insanity that flew from the thin, crumbing cracks of mortal, dread to imprison the soul. It was the delirious under tone of temptation, the starving affections of the turbulent reality that forced the screams to issue from that baritone, organ pipe. It was the crusade, the temptation, that red hot seductress of clarity that compounded all the events into one single meaning. It was the expression of surrendering pain, of the saturating, abysmal maelstrom that caused the shaking hands to swing the axe. It didn't matter if it was day or night, the present or the sticky past, or if the blood that ascended to the sky was the intended victim of the sword.

A question, a contemplation of the obvious, that pierced through the bosom straight into the thumping heart, to sear its burning emblem into soft, yielding flesh. A iron branded symbol of ignominy, a tribulation to the most delirious of gods. Death and destruction, life and salvation, the citadel that is the human soul. The heart; the perfect mad house. Where does the lie blur these absolutes into something tangible?

How much was to much before you couldn't bare the the thoughts that surrounded you? Love, hate, passion, corruption, carnality, the sense of being led, driven into madness with the confirmed feeling of devotion! When does the vow of silence place over the lips lead to a crash of the mind? When does it all dissolve into single movement of fury? Irrational is justified, the passions that eclipse the common sense simmer to a boil, when loving that one single person reaches new crescendos of horror.

Give him a eulogy, a elegiac of evinced justification. Understand him, sympathize with him, or at least peek into his heart and find the answer to the questions that contort all that is human.

After all it was only human to sink into despair. Wasn't it?

Ichigo screamed, forced the savage rage and searing darkness that confined him, to slink out of his cursing orifice and into the dust filled world. Ichigo threw his head back, released all the frustration that caused his heart to writhe painfully, and charged forward. His sword was featherlight, its stained tip the reflector of the artificial, lamp light. Halogen gas, their color invisible, swirled around inside milky white shells and emitated an ethereal glow that traveled over the distance to bounce off the lipstick, red tip of the blade. His sword was a mirror, a reflection of all that was morality. It was his retributioner, his ideal way of salvation.

He just wanted a way to release it all, how ever foolish and destructive it seemed. The situation was deemed average in his mind, his actions expected. If there was any other solution he doubted that he would have chosen to walk down its path. After all, fixing a problem with words and a calm demeanor wouldn't have uniformed with the natural behavior of one Kurosaki Ichigo. Taking that into consideration, trying to mangle the thing that forces such distress seemed like the only solution. It was this line of thinking,--of flawed justification, of reasoning that ended with sophristy--that in part led to where they were. One retreating, the other pursuing until their movements bled into one fantastical dance. Its rhythm screaming into the wind as its devious smile foretold the illuminating light of the future. The glistening drops of blood echoing the messages of passion and suicidal conviction. To kill was to become whole, to eradicate was to restore power.

If there was any form of excercing this madness from his body; it was to give into the red and all that caused such passions. How could these actions be explained? Therefore, let us venture into the tumbling mind of his soul. Let us explore the undulating pattern of thought and events that let up to this explosion. If in any case, let us learn the rumors circulating about one Abarai Renji. After all, with out Renji, Ichigo just would not be same.

The sexual exploitations of a man throughout the course of time can be numerous, well voiced, and debarred from the cloak of secracy. It was no small wonder that during his time as an undead being, Abarai Renji had shuffled through his fair share of bodies. It was no small wonder that each one in its own right had shaped not only the thought process but the sexual desires of Renji. Mystifying black-haired beings, shimmering blonds, sultry brunettes, and simply red heads-their title describing all- had each added a piquant taste to Renji's lips.

What was a wonder, was that more than half of his conquests had been diverged to several inquiring ears and spread around the watering wholes of soul society. Lieutenants, officers, freshly recruited shinigami's from the academy, and even one, highly dignified captain had all been submitted to screaming Renji's name or at least, subjected to a few lusty curses while being fucked into another oblivion. Gripped teeth, smeared lips, indention marks pressed upon skin that would tell the story of one thing and only one thing:sex.

Since this was all well and known, Renji never gave any thought as to whom and just where he chose to find his own personal release. Why bother concealing the facts when they were already placed upon the table and dissected with a gossipers starving eyes. What he hadn't counted on was the stories of him fooling around in the great library or dressing up in a captain's robes to do a quickly, would reach the areas outside of Soul Society. It was through second and third hand gossip that Ichigo, Ichigo who was mesmerized by a certain red head, learned of Renji and his "catches".

It was late in the mouth of may, exactly two months before Ichigo would discover a naked Renji in his bed. The air was sticky hot, a foreboding gal wind that caused Ichigo's body to stand still. Sweat dripped down his neck, as his eyes lost focused and his head slipped delightfully down. He was daydreaming, not paralyzed but struck with the sudden urge to linger among the breeze and the urban rustling boom of passing cars. His window, the path for the sounds to travel was open and his bed was the perfected cushion on which to lay. He was lost, dwelling deep within that peaceful moment that when Rukia and several other female shinigami's had come crashing in with a thump, thump, THUMP! he had screamed unmercifully.

The girls had descended from his make-shift, over head light tunnel. Their souls were constricted tight inside gigai's effectfully doubling the amount of trash and luggage that poured in from the small opening. A gigai and a filled soul body for each bubbling apparition of death.

How Jolly.

Laughing, they picked themselves up from Ichigo's floor and stared at his blushing face with amused bemusement. Prompt and always tactful with the ladies he had applied his smoothest voice and with great vigor screamed in a stampering mantra of "what! why! god dammit!" Another giggle, and Rukai explained why they had commenced such a great journey to KaraKura town.There motive for such a "long distance" trip was to gather information of the areas affected by Arrancars and Aizen. Equipped with numerous important and credifying forms and instruments Ichigo just raised one finely, sculpted brow and pretended that they were not all occupying his room. He went back to day dreaming, a vein ticking away in tune with the thump, thump, thumping of the cars.

However, a few more giggles and two days later Ichigo was forced to reconsider the importance of the girls so called mission. His suspicions were confirmed when twenty shopping bags later Ichigo questioned just what the hell the girls were doing other than sneaking off to buy human paraformial like stuffed bunnies and candy, flavored lip gloss. Even more surprising than their lack of work, was Ichigo's discovery of a silver G string under garment in Rukia's satchel.

With a mighty blush, Ichigo had screamed out his opposition to Rukia, only to stumble a very startling piece of camp fire gossip, The silver almost floss like underwear, for what else could a thin strap if string be used for other than oral hygiene, was in fact a requested item from a very certain red head. It was stunned disbelief that struck Ichigo, the thought of Renji wearing such a vulgar and unflattering color of string was ridiculous.

The thought of Renji, his gallant sword swinger flaunting around in nothing, caused a electric shock in Ichigo's brain and the result was a wide eyed, lip puckering, expression that Rukia had sought out and taken pity upon. With gentle, conniving hands she forced Ichigo unto his bed and told him the story of " Renji and the Rubber Duckling", Renji and The Ink Spill", "Renji and the mud puddle", and " Renji and the jello bowl".

Body after body, affair after affair, fling after heart destroying fling. Rukia told him all, divulged the secret sex world of Soul Society, and caused a painful thumping in his heart. The man he wanted was a playboy, a seeker of the flesh, and a chauvinist. Crestfallen, Ichigo bid Rukia and the other school, girl like shinigamis leave. Taking his head in hands, he stared out his window and listened to the thump, thump, thump of the passing cars. Misery loved him and he spent the night dreaming of a laughing warrior, laughing at Ichigo's exposed skin, laughing his exposed body. It was a dream of contrast, a dream different from his heat scorching visions of rawness. This dream stung and Ichigo prayed for a hollow to escape into another reality.

However, the hollows had disappeared and in their place Renji had appeared. Renji had come, two months after sleepless nights and countless hours spent in front of porn sites. Renji had tempted him, reminded him of the devious stories that Rukia had told, and messed with his heart. Was he another conquest? Another body to place between the sheets? Could Renji bend like that? Could he?

Maybe that was when he started writing the stories. No, that had come earlier, earlier than Rukia's visit. Ichigo had found an outlet for his bottled up emotion in his porn site and the blogs they offered. Late at night Ichigo summon up his dreams, his fantasy, his remembrance of the heat and fill page after page with his erotic tale. "Renji and the strawberry", "Renji and the bathtub", and "Renji and the confession booth" Ichigo had hoped that they would stay hidden ed, locked up tight in the Xclusive's directory, never to be seen by family, friends, or Renji.

What a crock.

Renji had found every way to destroy him. Renji and is irrefutable curiosity had forced a suffocating hand around his neck.

And it had come to this. Death and destruction, a hollow and a mortal, a primate and a strawberry.


End file.
